Thursday, October 25, 2007
Captain Shirtless
After a series of army experiments using radiation and a glowing green liquid made by Doctor Douchuous in an underground lair went horribly wrong, young army private Bleek Blather found himself transformed into...
Captain Shirtless!! Hero to the common douche!!
At first I was going to reject this pic on the grounds of professional stripperdom, but now I'm not so sure. Do strip clubs let in douche superheroes like Captain Shirtless? Or is my fervered imagination convincing me that hotties actually dress up in tiny bits of lingerie of their own free non-economically-inspired accord?
And what about Sweet Polly Purebred on the right? How does she figure into this equation?
Tune in next week for the further scrotey adventures of Captain Shirtless and the Stable of Ambiguously Pro Hott!! Same douche time!! Same douche channel!!
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WOW, the girls at the Bunny Ranch have gotten better looking ... and a lot younger! Maybe I'll have to start watching that program again. Or better yet, make a trip out there myself. Yowzers!
Hey wait a minute ... why is that French douche wearing an Army cap?!? When did France get an Army? I guess they adopted the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy right away.
Hey wait a minute ... why is that French douche wearing an Army cap?!? When did France get an Army? I guess they adopted the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy right away.
Looks like three tasty morsels of professional goodness to me.
Pro's or not, they are nice to stare at.
Pro's or not, they are nice to stare at.
Things I like:
(1) Polly Purebred. I'll take a dance.
(2) The fact that blondie is doing that limp arm, "I'd really prefer not to be so close to you" move.
Things I don't like:
(1) He's touching sweet Polly Purebred's hip. At least he's not touching bare skin, but to be safe, I will gently wipe her legs with alcohol swabs.
(2) Blondie's 5 o'clock shadow is almost as dark as his.
(1) Polly Purebred. I'll take a dance.
(2) The fact that blondie is doing that limp arm, "I'd really prefer not to be so close to you" move.
Things I don't like:
(1) He's touching sweet Polly Purebred's hip. At least he's not touching bare skin, but to be safe, I will gently wipe her legs with alcohol swabs.
(2) Blondie's 5 o'clock shadow is almost as dark as his.
# posted by 
: 12:57 PM
: 12:57 PM
now i'm really confused.
this is my living room. who are these people and when did i invite them over?
this is my living room. who are these people and when did i invite them over?
# posted by : 1:07 PM
: 1:07 PM
At least the belt's not white...I guess the camo's on cuz he's hunting....fer split tail deer...
Right HC has the gams; that's what I'm talkin' bout.
I would like to coat Polly Purebread with my smooth Peter Pan Penisbutter. With the Spoon of Fate. In the Kitchen of Destiny. Next the the Refrigerator of Doom. With optional Ice Dispenser of DEATH.
Right HC has the gams; that's what I'm talkin' bout.
I would like to coat Polly Purebread with my smooth Peter Pan Penisbutter. With the Spoon of Fate. In the Kitchen of Destiny. Next the the Refrigerator of Doom. With optional Ice Dispenser of DEATH.
@pfah
Does that mean you didn't put up that Craig's list ad? The one that read:
Teenage hookers seek fine home to rent for entertaining douches. A couch with Scotchguard is a must. Pets O.K.
Does that mean you didn't put up that Craig's list ad? The one that read:
Teenage hookers seek fine home to rent for entertaining douches. A couch with Scotchguard is a must. Pets O.K.
# posted by : 1:12 PM
: 1:12 PM
They're all professionals.
I'll go with Anon 12:43; I'd say Sarajevo.
U.S. Army issue is easy to come by there. The douches are their clients. Oh, and R-Dog, you're going to want more than an alcohol swab.
I'll go with Anon 12:43; I'd say Sarajevo.
U.S. Army issue is easy to come by there. The douches are their clients. Oh, and R-Dog, you're going to want more than an alcohol swab.
Heres the facts.
This turd just went into a strip joint on his 21st bday. These three asked him if he wanted to buy "them" a drink. He said yes,then one of them took off his shirt........
He thinks he is a stud, but he just bought $150.00 champaign spritzers.
His buddy took the picture before he got the bill, enjoy the memory dumbass.
This turd just went into a strip joint on his 21st bday. These three asked him if he wanted to buy "them" a drink. He said yes,then one of them took off his shirt........
He thinks he is a stud, but he just bought $150.00 champaign spritzers.
His buddy took the picture before he got the bill, enjoy the memory dumbass.
D. Baggins pulls in to the drive thru - "Uh yeah can I get a 12 piece thigh and breast bucket and umm gimme a side order of douche, the scrotiest you got. Thanks"
Underpaid fastfood employee - "With or without camo sir?"
D. Baggins - "Definitely with."
I'd drink a McDonalds grease trap dry for the opportunity to style the hair of the one-eyed sister of the brunette in all black. Damn she's fine.
Underpaid fastfood employee - "With or without camo sir?"
D. Baggins - "Definitely with."
I'd drink a McDonalds grease trap dry for the opportunity to style the hair of the one-eyed sister of the brunette in all black. Damn she's fine.
# posted by : 1:17 PM
: 1:17 PM
Wow that guy is a hottie; absolutely gorgeous. Yummy!
I just pray that he has a full head of hair underneath that cap.
I just pray that he has a full head of hair underneath that cap.
# posted by : 1:24 PM
: 1:24 PM
Hey North Carolina, did you miss the memo on what this site is for? You're supposed to make fun of the douche, not ogle him.
# posted by : 1:29 PM
: 1:29 PM
miss north carolina
Mom - for the last time - get off this website. Go trim dad's ear hair or something.
Mom - for the last time - get off this website. Go trim dad's ear hair or something.
@reservoir douche... nope. sorry my friend. my ad read like this:
need large couch reupholstered. odd stains, sticky areas, and smells faintly of hot garbage. high quality work is a must. serious inquiries only.
need large couch reupholstered. odd stains, sticky areas, and smells faintly of hot garbage. high quality work is a must. serious inquiries only.
# posted by : 1:31 PM
: 1:31 PM
@miss north carolina...i know miss north carolina, and you dear, are no miss north carolina.
# posted by : 1:32 PM
: 1:32 PM
She's no Miss Teen South Carolina either. That girl's got speaking skillzz ...
"Like ... the us Americans and the ... like ... Irag... the US Americans need to teach ... and Korea ... but don't forget about Africa who needs, uh, no, they don't develop and that's why ..." etc.
Miss Teen South Carolina is bound and determined to be the next big thing in Hollywood.
"Like ... the us Americans and the ... like ... Irag... the US Americans need to teach ... and Korea ... but don't forget about Africa who needs, uh, no, they don't develop and that's why ..." etc.
Miss Teen South Carolina is bound and determined to be the next big thing in Hollywood.
Arg. I was on the fence about these girls. But drinking CHAMPAGNE THROUGH A STRAW?! Fuck no. That's 10 times worse than beer. They deserve instant death by laser. Ok, so maybe I'd gnaw on right hottie's thighs for a little bit first, but then it is death by laser after that.
Nice couch Pfah. My girlfriend has a teddy made out of the same material. She could sit on that couch and I'd be all "Where'd you go?"
Nice couch Pfah. My girlfriend has a teddy made out of the same material. She could sit on that couch and I'd be all "Where'd you go?"
# posted by : 1:43 PM
: 1:43 PM
Is it just me, or does that couch slope to the right like something out of Dr. Suess?
As much as I stare I cant see any nipple, except the one on the choad, talk about a shit sandwich.
As much as I stare I cant see any nipple, except the one on the choad, talk about a shit sandwich.
rocky_choad
What you don't see in this picture, because she's oustide the frame, is a wildebeest of a woman in her tight, rolls-of-fat-squeezing negligee at the left end of the couch.
Her makeup is overdone, like a freaky clown, and in one hand she holds a foot long sub sandwich and in the other hand an assortment of dildos.
Good eye with the couch tilt, my man.
What you don't see in this picture, because she's oustide the frame, is a wildebeest of a woman in her tight, rolls-of-fat-squeezing negligee at the left end of the couch.
Her makeup is overdone, like a freaky clown, and in one hand she holds a foot long sub sandwich and in the other hand an assortment of dildos.
Good eye with the couch tilt, my man.
i'm with you vader. champagne through a straw is high school.
a teddy, eh? the art of lingerie is a beautiful thing. i can look at it on for about 3 minutes and then it's on the side drawer. when it comes to nudity, i should practice more patience.
or.....not.
a teddy, eh? the art of lingerie is a beautiful thing. i can look at it on for about 3 minutes and then it's on the side drawer. when it comes to nudity, i should practice more patience.
or.....not.
# posted by : 2:03 PM
: 2:03 PM
I vote any guy running around a club shirtless should get his teeth knocked out.
All in favor say "I."
I just loathe the fact the boys can't stay clothed.
All in favor say "I."
I just loathe the fact the boys can't stay clothed.
pfah
Concerning your avatar: why is the head of the lead singer for Soul Coughing (Mike Doughty) stuck between Halle Berry's breastesses?
Concerning your avatar: why is the head of the lead singer for Soul Coughing (Mike Doughty) stuck between Halle Berry's breastesses?
I think I just took the blonde to the Bone Zone. Not sure if she's aware of it yet or not. Probably not.
@ scroteb
You think? When will you know?
DB1 really perplexes me with these pictures. I always wonder WTF about so many things. It's a cruel morbid vision that you cant stop looking at.
You think? When will you know?
DB1 really perplexes me with these pictures. I always wonder WTF about so many things. It's a cruel morbid vision that you cant stop looking at.
My Guess:
Croatia, Sarajevo, douche, and czech republic. How I love those countries <3
Loose the douche, mix the hotties stir and keep them warm and you will have a heck of a party.
And don't think I haven't seen you miss Croatia "I drink alcohol with a straw to get flippy" I now know you are cheating on me :'(.. with a douche... I will have to shower myself with muriatic acid if you excuse me.
Hans Von Douchepants
Croatia, Sarajevo, douche, and czech republic. How I love those countries <3
Loose the douche, mix the hotties stir and keep them warm and you will have a heck of a party.
And don't think I haven't seen you miss Croatia "I drink alcohol with a straw to get flippy" I now know you are cheating on me :'(.. with a douche... I will have to shower myself with muriatic acid if you excuse me.
Hans Von Douchepants
# posted by : 4:14 PM
: 4:14 PM
OK, I see the douchebag, but hot chicks? This one is as about as entertaining as watching paint dry.
# posted by : 7:00 PM
: 7:00 PM
"I would like to coat Polly Purebread with my smooth Peter Pan Penisbutter."
Heh.
Heh.
# posted by : 7:08 PM
: 7:08 PM
I want to give this couch and the persons on it the special R. Kelly underage girl treatment.
*dave chappelle skit loops endlessly in my head*
*dave chappelle skit loops endlessly in my head*
Wow...DB1 is breaking out the old references...first 80s (Groove is in the Heart by Dee-light, referenced in Gangsta Blue) and now the 60s (Sweet Polly Purebred from Underdog and the old Batman quote)...what's next DB1?
@plinky - Dear god...I think I've seen that woman you speak of around town here...her legs look like hamhocks?
@plinky - Dear god...I think I've seen that woman you speak of around town here...her legs look like hamhocks?
# posted by : 1:59 AM
: 1:59 AM
@vader
Death by tray it shall be.
Yeah, my stripper sense is usually tied to the presense of glitter and the smell of that $.99/gallon perfume they seem to love (have to wash your shirt twice to get the smell out), but this one's too easy: Clearly pros. Hopefully Bruno working at the door tossed this assclown out the back door and beat him to within an inch of his life.
Are they even 18? Maybe this is in Tijuana or something ... only place I can think of where this fart sniffer wouldn't get his teeth knocked out for taking his shirt off in a strip club.
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Death by tray it shall be.
Yeah, my stripper sense is usually tied to the presense of glitter and the smell of that $.99/gallon perfume they seem to love (have to wash your shirt twice to get the smell out), but this one's too easy: Clearly pros. Hopefully Bruno working at the door tossed this assclown out the back door and beat him to within an inch of his life.
Are they even 18? Maybe this is in Tijuana or something ... only place I can think of where this fart sniffer wouldn't get his teeth knocked out for taking his shirt off in a strip club.
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