Clutch! DB1, you are the King! First you find more pics of Club Douche on the net and now this! You da man!
 

hahaha this is pure genius!
The thing that gets me really freaked is that theyr probably not even drunk...

-Otto Graf von Douchemarck
 

Their mating dance didn't seem too effective. Maybe if they had some tats or a drink in hand. Girls come to these guys because they are like the big gorilla at the zoo, big, dumb, but cool to be in a pic with.
 

What in THE fuck is going on there.

You really weren't kidding when you said this is not for the "unbandanad of head."

Are those guys really serious? They're joking right? Serious? Is there still gravity on earth? Do I even still live on earth? I have to reevaluate everything now.
 

That is the whitest thing I've ever seen. And I've seen Trent Lott doing the Achy Breaky with a polar bear at a KKK rally sponsored by Miracle Whip.
 

@bvg: THAT is something I can picture and brings a true LOL to my co-workers. Now I got some 'splaining to do...
 

Why did I keep thinking "Quest For Fire" when I saw that clip?

I can probably save the video in a non-flash format if you want to keep that in the HoS archives.
 

Oh geeze. I tried to watch this video a couple weeks ago and couldn't even make it a quarter of the way through it. I'm not sure I have the strength to try it even now...I'm all for guidos embarrassing themselves, but these guys may have found my limit...
 

Someone call Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Get someone in the helicopter, shoot some tranquilizers, fix these guys with some radio collars and then release them back into the wild, so we can track their migratory patterns and mating habbits. I see a new field of science opening up right before us. Not to mention a new reality show Mutual of Omaha's Wild Douche Bags, Staring DB1 as Marlin Perkins.
 

jesus tittyfucking christ. i don't know where to begin. words cannot describe the rage/confusion inside me right now. all i can say is fucking capris?!?! i need to go punch a baby in the face.
 

The hottie in the video deserves some kind of award. She is all kinds of awesome.
As for gooch #1 and choda-boy, I hope they do a whole series of videos like this. Like the girls gone wild series. "Douche-dancing goes to the great wall of China."
"Douche-dancing to the oldies."
 

...creepy.
 

I don't know whether I am feeling my normal feelings of anger or just confusion...
 

I think Joey, Baron, and I have the same thing in mind. The whole time I watched this clip, I kept thinking, "HO--LY LORD! What the fuck is happening here? No wonder white guys have such a bad reputation for dancing. With Scrotes like this running around, we'll never get ourselves away from that stereotype." And even the chick is having a hard time. Seriously, what fluid dance have you ever seen that incorporates a push-up?
It's absolutely mind-blowing how douchey these guys are.

Deuche Baggilo
 

I feel like I've taken the load of a thousand guidos in my fucking eye after watching this horrendous display.

Infant snuff movies would probably disturb me less than this utter mockery of humanity.

What a brave girl to go "in the field" like that...she puts the late, great Steve Irwin to shame in her daring first-hand involvement with these fucking Neanderthal half-wit scrote commandos.
 

aaaaaarrrrrgggggg, I'm transforming into the Hulk!!!!!!
 

Well, it's taken over an hour, but I finally watched the whole thing.
I feel dirty. Uncomfortable. Like I just ate a bad egg salad sandwich and got a bunch of it on my clothes to boot.
That was awful. Add another identifier to the list of Bleeth factors: can no longer dance.
Ug. I'm going to go have a shower.
 

I put a link to this vid on this site months ago.
 

this was some funny shit........



that is all.
 

Ahahahahahahaha

Awesome.
 

These guys aren't Italian.

And they've obviously been huffing whip cream cans!
 

That was an interesting mix of funny and bewildering, the push up being the highlight of unintentional comedy. I was half-expecting Peaches to roll into the frame in his shopping cart.
 

This "Guidos in Cabo" clip has been around for a while. In a nutshell however, it accurately documents what typically happens with these douchebags by the end of the night when they find themselves in a club where the chicks aren't overly bleethed. Ultimately, the chicks get sick of their immature behavior and want nothing to do with them. In the end, the douchebags dance among themselves, which only serves to reinforce the borderline homoerotic vibes, they send out to the rest of the world.

Having been to Cabo several times, I can only say I hope the Travel Agent that sent these douchebags there burns in hell with the one that told them to go to South Beach.
 

Two words:
Capri pants.
 

I am 100% Italian. I wear shirts that have grossly inappropriate Hawaiian graphics for the Capital Region of NYS. I also wear gold medallions of a crucifix on a gold chain. These, my fellow posters, are the bottom of the barrel when it comes to my ethnicity.

These guys make me sick. Judging by the pants they're wearing they've either been shorn by arrows or a knife swipe has come too close but not close enough.

Clearly, there's other DB hunters out there. Kudos to you DB1.

- Ryan Seadouche
 

I've lost the will to live...
 

the one, and only, redeeming factor in this video, is that there are others out there like us, that enjoy observing/documenting these fucking idiots for what they truly are: lower food chain dwellers.

honestly, i'd be suprised if these choads have opposable thumbs.

i am currently filled with hatred, confusion, rage, and gas.

damn these douchebags to hell.
 

Oh I do love those wildlife documentaries. I kept waiting for David Attenborough to come out and explain the mysterious behaviors of these large apes.
But one can find a more detailed explanation here:

http://standingonthebox.blogspot.com/2006/06/juicehead-mating-ritual.html

It includes the basic Guido Credo:
Elasticity eradicates credibility
 

One day, I will be able to emulate this Diane Fossey of Bag Hunters. I will study Guidobags in the wilds of Cabo San Lucas and Acapulo. I will learn the grunts of their gutteral language. I will mimic their convulsive "dance" movements and attempt to make contact through physical expressions of douchebaggery. I will also be sure not to let them touch me, as I am aware that the Grieco virus is highly infectious, even to women. I will attempt to pass myself off as a douchebaguette in order to communicate the need for these scrotes to eliminate themselves from the gene pool... even if they never get past "boobies." If I happen to humiliate and debase these truly douchey douchebags in the process, such is the price of true science.
 

godspeed lemon tart. may the force be with you.
 

The horror....The horror...

/dies
 

You had me at "one day" Lemon Tart, you had me at "one day".
 

That made my day.

Why does everyone on this comments section form urbane names with the word douche in it. Are you calling yourself a douche?
 

PS- Pfah, let me join the chorus and say how lovely is Mrs.Pfah, especially the quite unique and alluring eyes... great catch, oh great Bedazzled one!
 

@ anon 6:33

no. not at all. that's the beauty of the english language our anonymous friend. you can form all kinds of meanings and subtleties from the word 'douche'.

take for example my name. pfah. i could easily transform it into something fun and creative like 'pfahdouche'. knowing all the while that i am, in fact, not a douche at all, but yet, still maintaining a connectivity to a website that makes fun of douchebags.

it's a paradox really.

make a name, join the fun, and, more importantly, douche on.
 

oh yes my friend lemon tart. thank you so much for the compliment. i am truly a lucky bastard. she's hot as hell. thanks for noticing.
 

You're right, she Mrs Pfah is visually appealing. Good job!
 

aww thanks ian. "visually appealing' may be the most politically-correct term ever used for her. thanks dude. i give up my previous dibs for you.
 

I had to stop. I couldn't stomach it anymore. I need one of those memory-erasing pens like on MIB.

Alpha male has the rhythm of a drunken retard - and that's an insult to retards. Speaking of drunk, she must be _way_ in the bag not to see his lack of "moves" and run away screaming.

Pfah, re: your avatar: how apropos - HCwDB... ;-) Just kidding, my man. She'd definitely qualify as a HC. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that there are still some Hotties out there that aren't totally bleethed out.

@ anon 6:33 - we're all douchebags, to one degree or another. Some of us realize this, accept it, and try to gain some mastery over it before it overtakes us and we become like those on this site that we deride. Don't fight it; embrace your douchebag-iness in all its glory.
 

bag, douche bag...

thanks brother. yeah, i figured i'd mock myself. i look so hott in that bedazzled hat. i mean, look at me. i'm a total 'bag. it's just too bad to you can't see my star tattoos, bottle of Grey Goose, or studded D&G belt. you're right, it's good to know there are still smoking hot girls out there that aren't bleethed out. fortunately, i landed one of them.

speaking of which, she just got home. i'm going to go show her my guido dance moves. wish me luck. this could get ugly.
 

One of the posters here had already posted this link.

Very funny stuff.
 

i am on the floor laughing. more douche videos please!!
 

Just to clarify, some people seem to think that girl is some Bleeth dancing WITH him. Please note she is actually an antidote- she is making FUN of him.

And she does a fantastic job.

LOSERS.
 

@Bag, Douche Bag
Good call. "Mastery over it". That works.

@anon 6:33
Some of us ARE full on douchebags. Shit, my friends got me a coffee cup with the word "douchebag" on it for my 30th bday. But we've good enough senses of humor to know that we deserve ridicule, so everything we say about the assholes on this site who take themselves completely seriously, in a way, becomes self-deprecating humor. Bottom line, it's all in the name of fun.
So yeah. You aren't a douchebag at all? Lucky you. You've got a few tendencies you'd like to explore while poking good natured fun at others? Go for it. You're a hopeless douche but are fully aware that there are VASTLY worse cases out there than yourself? Join the club, pick a name, and douche on.
 

Oh yeah.
@Pfah
Buuuuullshizzle. "Not a douchebag at all", eh? Not even a little? Even the tiniest of bits?
Come out of the 'bag closet my friend. It's ok. We'll all still accept you for who you are.
 

this pic is now about Pfah and his missus.

Pfah, can your missus gear herself up all tactical and rain down purifying destruction on Douche Kingdom? thanks muchly!
 

+1 for Mrs Pfah! Smack to librarian glasses on her and your avatar could win a weekly! :)
 

As with some species of duck, homosexuality can be found among the species Douchebagus Guidosus. I will note in my field journal that one male had tattered leg plumage and the other abbreviated.

- boatbutter
 

vader...
while i've been called a label whore before, i've never jelled my hair into a blow-out. i have no hair. i suppose i am 10% douchebag. and i am proud of that 10%. thank you my friend.
 

not a bad idea lower case bag! i could take our camera with us and capture the moment.
 

Thank you, thank you, thank you! That was one of the most ridodgammedlously funny things I have ever seen. Especially in the context of the site. Thank you for making my Friday morning!

Please, this video has to make HCwDB of the Week, Month, and Year. To see the context of the DB in his natural surroundings, it is brilliant! Maybe it should get it's own place in history?!
 

I am fucking speechless..........................................................................................................................................................................................................makes me wish I was a woman, at least I's have an excuse if I attemted to dance like that. I may know those two DBs. I'm quite sure they grew up in Idiotville.
And if you listen closely the skank is cheering
Douche Bags
Douche Bags
Rah! Rah! Rah!
 

dammit i'm late to the party....stupid work....

Why is that chick bothering those two bags trying to mate...?
 

The tragic part is, later when the hottie was frisky and wanted to get pumped, she knew right where to go get her fill. I'd wager 100 bucks the douche nailed her later that night.
 

What the hell was that? I kept expecting it to turn out to be staged or for there to be some reasonable explanation like this was an audition for a remake of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest".
 

I feel violated.

I woke up this morning and felt a tremor in the Force. And by 'tremor in the Force' I mean that my balls were trying to retreat to inside my body cavity. I waited as long as I could before checking on HCwDB but could not hold off any longer. I now know what that tremor was.

This defies explanation. Just when you've thought you've seen it all, something oozes to the surface.

Lemon Tart - You need to change your name to Jane Choadall.
 

The laughing in the background of the ppl filming this atrocity was perfect. They couldn't believe what they were witnessing either.

Retarded.
 

this is by far the best blog evar! too damn funny! i love the video!
 

I used to love Cabo. Wanted to buy a 2nd home there. Up on a hill overlooking the ocean. Now, I want to hurt myself. I think I'll have to move to Idaho instead. I don't think Idaho has any douchebags. Sure they got the klan and militia types, but at least they ain't douchebags.

Frodo Douchebaggins
 

I've seen this video before. Some of you seem to be under the impression that the girl is dancing with him, on the contrary, she is MAKING FUN of his douchebag ass. Notice how far away from she is as she mimicks his scrotatious moves.

LMAO when it finally seems to sink into his thick douchebag skull and he says "what's up", she says "you want me to tell you what's up" and points to her junk. The only thing that's funnier is that he keeps on dancing oblivious to the fact that everyone around him is laughing their asses off.
 

If ever there were an American who should have been arrested, sent to a wretched foreign prison, beaten, tortured, and kept beyond any reasonable due process with no intervention from the U.S., it is this scrote (and his friend with the hat). They HAVE to be from Jersey.
 

Is this an ad for Puma Speed Cats?
The official footwear of the Euro-douche!
 

I have watched this video 7 times now and I cannot stop god damn laughing. Plus, your explanation of the scene, DB1, is pure fregin' genius.