Vicki! You grew up nicely!
 

He needs to put down the drink, stop the death grip, and button up.
She needs to use the satin gloved hand and smack that shithead smirk off his douche face.
 

Sundays on VH1-

"Scott Baio is 45 and Single"
 

Are her tits that perky, or is she smuggling balloons?
 

No bling, no hand gestures, no stupid tats of chinese words that translate "laundry", so what exactly makes this Mario Lopez vagina-lint a douchebag?

The headtilt. That's right. It's a subtle, yet so overt its hidden, move. The unnecessary telegraphic message being "I'm not close enough to destroying this hotties kidneys, so I need to tilt the top part of my greasy fuckin' douchebag head." It lets you know that the standard, straight on photograph is beneath them. The Douchebage needs...glamour.

She on the other hand, could get a different type of seaman.

- Ryan Seadouche
 

This choad is a friggin mess. Checkered pants, striped shirt, white sportcoat. And what the hell is that shiny silver shit on his neck. Is she wearing astronaut gloves? WTF.
Hot stuff is indeed a boner inducer. Obviously, she has borrowed his hat, and the thought of this douchebag with that cap on his head, along with rest of the train wreck outfit makes me want to drown the effwad in the ballroom lavatory.
 

I think she attempted to dress up like a hottie marine, type thing. He pulled her in so he could hump her. See, he's pushing his groin out a bit.
 

Isaac the bartender needs to give this guy the double guns, except with real guns.
 

He wants to be the Joey Buttafuccio to her Amy Fisher. I want to be the Andrew Cunanan to his Gianni Versace....er, not the gay rage thing; just the gunshot to the skullplate part...
 

all aboard the S.S. Bleeth'Bag. the iceberg awaits.
 

A.C. Slater, Saved by the Bag.
 

Holy crap, I used to work for the Love Boat.

"Scrote, TAGed and greased,
Grab your bling and we'll make you bleethed.

The Love Scrote, soon will be making another pass. The Love Scrote, hand gestures make him such an ass.

The LOVE SCROTE!!!!!!"

Frodo Douchebagins
 

His attire alone is worthy of crowning him as a Douchebag. In all fairness, perhaps he was seasick when he picled out this ensemble. Nah.....he just thinks he's a SMOOVE operator.
As far as the "HC" goes...banging body, no doubt. Not totally digging her face, but that's not saying she's not attractive. Just not my type, I guess.
 

I'd wouldn't mind dropping anchor in her port.

Popeye the Douchie Man
 

I wouldn't mind blowing a load in her eye and mushroom stamping her forehead. She looks like a fucking cougar. Nice body though other than the 99% chance fake tits.

I didn't know Wilmer Valderama had gotten even gayer!!! (yet still is probably fucking this chick, damn)

Nice Miami Vice look with mismatched patterns you cheesy fucking idiot. If I knew of this douched out little shindig I would've given Randy Quaid and invite so he could slap the drink out of AC Doucher's hand, give him a wedgie, and punt him overboard.
 

Her right ovary is about to squirt out of her tooterbug; ease up on the spinecrack, dicktwist. He looks like the retarded Baldwin brother that they keep in the barn, that eats spiders and screws hens.
 

Man overboard! Please!

--Vinny Scumbaglia
 

i would port her starbord until she sent out an s.o.s. call.
 

insert some joke about an aircraft carrier sinking.
 

fuckin yaagah bombs