Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Douche Synergy
People frequently ask me when exactly Douche Synergy occurs in a longtime HCwDB coupling. While there is never a scientifically quantifiable moment when Bleeth State has been achieved in a hottie exposed to too much wonky Fratchoad douchebaggery, one givaway is the dual 'bag hand gestures.
Like synchronized diving among the Hawaiian Monk Seals off the coast of Waikiki or early mimicry in the freshly born Milky Storks of Kuala Lumpur, hottie/douchey call and response in the form of 'bag hand gesture implies late stage courtship and familiarity. And thus, douchebaggery.
In other words, the state is terminal. There is no recovery. No, not even for Ted Theodore Logan here.
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This is a hidden mathematical equation:
Gilligan Douche's popped collar + Betty Rubble hair < Blonde Hottie's booblies.
Gilligan Douche's popped collar + Betty Rubble hair < Blonde Hottie's booblies.
Well this may be a first. We have here two kids that, on their own, would probably not even manage to qualify for stage 1. But put them together, and give them the dual gesture, and they immediately rise to level 1, with momentum towards stage 2 (note the douche faces). Very interesting and worthy of more study. And by more study I mean look at that cleavite!
# posted by 
: 4:14 PM
: 4:14 PM
So sad, to see one so young so far gone...
Careful, Vader, that's hard time material right there!
Careful, Vader, that's hard time material right there!
# posted by : 4:22 PM
: 4:22 PM
No duh ABoC! Hard Time is the whole point of More Study!
Wait...what kind of Hard Time are you talking about?
Wait...what kind of Hard Time are you talking about?
# posted by : 4:29 PM
: 4:29 PM
I don't think it's fake, but, they look so familiar that they are related, or he's hanging around this girl so much without anything sexual going on, that he's basically considered her gay friend. That long hair covering one eye is an emo kid move, but he's dressed preppy. He's signifying that he's not the normal douche with this contrast. Isn't legal age 15 in the UK, I'll assume she's british.
Please dont post his adress because I will be forced to beat him to death with a tack Hammer.But that's looking at the glass half empty. The upside is that the blonde will so bewildered she will be mine for the taking.
# posted by : 7:16 PM
: 7:16 PM
This baby 'bag is on a road to some serious full grown doucheness. I wonder if parents of douchebags look at their kids, recognize the douchitity and shake their heads with disappointment.
Stupid A&E pre-faded orange shirt with the popped collar of course. Yup!
Rugby player, pseudo-i-dont-care, long hair with the sideswept bang. You know it!
10 degree tilt. Sadly yes.
Sad to see the epidemic is starting early with the kids these days.
Stupid A&E pre-faded orange shirt with the popped collar of course. Yup!
Rugby player, pseudo-i-dont-care, long hair with the sideswept bang. You know it!
10 degree tilt. Sadly yes.
Sad to see the epidemic is starting early with the kids these days.
# posted by : 7:38 PM
: 7:38 PM
I officially protest the posting of this picture. I stopped beating up teenagers when I graduated college.
- Ryan Seadouche
- Ryan Seadouche
# posted by : 7:40 PM
: 7:40 PM
"If you're out to get the honeys, then don't go killing all the bees". This is to say, that douche bags and bleaths, give birth to those that are like themselves. They aren't born the way they are ofcoruse, but they don't recieve enough education or lifestyle difference, to act otherwise. It's as douches are part of the circle of life, unliked, but necessary.
I'll refrain from commenting on the hottie until her legality is verified.
As for emo/preppy Abercrombie boy, I don't even think he deserves comment...
As for emo/preppy Abercrombie boy, I don't even think he deserves comment...
# posted by : 8:17 PM
: 8:17 PM
anon@4:07 - no. Oh, wait - was it rhetorical? Damn, I gotta fix the batteries in my sarcasm detector...
Vader, please lift your visor. Or have a tech fix the magnifier lenses. "Cleavite in view may appear larger than reality." They're not boobs - they're bumps.
As for him, I actually like punks like this. See, you just look at 'em funny, like you're getting ready to punch their lights out, and they run. They're nice to have around for comic relief.
Vader, please lift your visor. Or have a tech fix the magnifier lenses. "Cleavite in view may appear larger than reality." They're not boobs - they're bumps.
As for him, I actually like punks like this. See, you just look at 'em funny, like you're getting ready to punch their lights out, and they run. They're nice to have around for comic relief.
# posted by : 8:40 PM
: 8:40 PM
I second KB's call of bullshit. As soon as I saw the pic, I thought the same thing.
That having been said... Why are his fingertips so red? Is he bustin' that hand gesture with so much pressure he's gonna pop his fingernails off?
As intentional as this pic seems to be, the mere ownership of a Long Beach State cap gives you +1 douche points. Now there's a role playing computer game I could get into! Douchebag adventures, and build up your 'bag points by performing quests. Who wouldn't want to quest with character that's a Level 17 Asshole?
That having been said... Why are his fingertips so red? Is he bustin' that hand gesture with so much pressure he's gonna pop his fingernails off?
As intentional as this pic seems to be, the mere ownership of a Long Beach State cap gives you +1 douche points. Now there's a role playing computer game I could get into! Douchebag adventures, and build up your 'bag points by performing quests. Who wouldn't want to quest with character that's a Level 17 Asshole?
# posted by : 8:53 PM
: 8:53 PM
Great. Now I have a picture I can keep to show my kids-- as in, something to show them while saying "If you ever even THINK about leaving the house looking like this, you will be locked in the basement until your eyebrows grow in, your hat disintegrates, your collar deflates, the neck-jewelry falls apart, and your lips return to their natural un-puckered state. Either that, or until you turn 16 next year, whichever comes first."
I mean, you know, if I *have* kids. These pictures are making me just a wee bit nervous about letting young, malleable children out where the douchebags roam.
They're two cuties heading towards the fiery pits of "Bagdom with the signage and lip poses!
Somebody save these kids!
I'm totally using this pic as an example of how *not* to pose to MY teen and tween.
Somebody save these kids!
I'm totally using this pic as an example of how *not* to pose to MY teen and tween.
# posted by : 11:26 PM
: 11:26 PM
Did anyone else notice that they are in some victorian house?
So while I agree on calling BS on this pic, I still want to poke this guy's single eye out like Ulysses.
So while I agree on calling BS on this pic, I still want to poke this guy's single eye out like Ulysses.
c'mon hes adorable - she's clearly the bigger douche. In fact, I'm sure that she made him participate in douchey hand gesture. He looks totally uncomfortable.
# posted by : 5:42 AM
: 5:42 AM
It's a shame to see the virus claim the young.
Is one born with the Greico virus and it lies dormant for an incubation period (what appears to be 16-26 years), or is it transmitted through hand gestures, infected Bedazzler handles, crooked hats, etc?
By understanding it's source, perhaps we can find a cure.
- boatbutter
Is one born with the Greico virus and it lies dormant for an incubation period (what appears to be 16-26 years), or is it transmitted through hand gestures, infected Bedazzler handles, crooked hats, etc?
By understanding it's source, perhaps we can find a cure.
- boatbutter
# posted by : 5:44 AM
: 5:44 AM
As I too am of a mind not to pick on the toddlers, I will say merely:
Scrotonicity.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
Scrotonicity.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
# posted by : 7:07 AM
: 7:07 AM
i think these two kids are just clowning around and are neither a douche, nor a bleeth.
plus, i feel neither one of them are old enough to drive yet. we should leave them alone.
plus, i feel neither one of them are old enough to drive yet. we should leave them alone.
# posted by : 7:10 AM
: 7:10 AM
2 popped collars in a row?????????? wow. not thats douche synergy right there. the 16 year old chick in this pic needs to keep rubbing vicks vapor rub on those and maybe they'll grow. As for the surfer bag in the pic...... you forgot to deliver my breadsticks last time, get it together.
# posted by : 8:21 AM
: 8:21 AM
Come on and fess up, Pfah. These are your kids right and you are baiting us?
(If you go to prison Vader at least you'll have access to the internet and can still enjoy HCwDB - or we'll send you the book cleverly disguised in a cake.)
(If you go to prison Vader at least you'll have access to the internet and can still enjoy HCwDB - or we'll send you the book cleverly disguised in a cake.)
nice guess spinnaker chick, but no. swing and a miss. besides, my kids would be WAY cuter and probably not throwing gang signs.
# posted by : 10:16 AM
: 10:16 AM
FORGETT ABOUT THE TURD ON THE LEFT lets talk about the seximama on the rightt to bad shes ilgeal
# posted by : 10:34 AM
: 10:34 AM
Is that Mrs. Pfah? She is quite attractive but I just don't know about that douche in the bedazzled hat she is with.
Pfah: Mrs. Pfah is far too lovely to be with an olde man like yourself. Which makes me sad, because I'm a year older than you. I already gotta sit down to pee...it's all over...
yep. that's me other half. i'll pass on your compliments to her.
spinnaker chick, don't diss the hat please. it took me a month to complete that work of 'art'.
spinnaker chick, don't diss the hat please. it took me a month to complete that work of 'art'.
# posted by : 11:00 AM
: 11:00 AM
One nice thing about Emo-bags, they'll kill themselves without help. Although, an anonymous shipment of Schick products wouldn't hurt...
# posted by : 11:10 AM
: 11:10 AM
Lemon tart you beat me to it. If I ever see my son looking like that... I don't know what I'll do. Start a new support site called Mysonisadouchebag.com I guess. He is however a queer douche if i have ever seen one. She is under age... I will not comment. (They watch us... all of us.)
Can we get a Bleeth of the month or of the quarter, as there aren't to many of them, I think we need if for balance.
i'm the hot chick in this pictureee... yeah this picture is really douchie, i admit. whatever though we all have our douchebag moments don't pretend you've never flashed that gay peace sign..haha
# posted by : 7:49 PM
: 7:49 PM
My fellow douch scientists won't be pleased to see that message maam. Perhaps you should dispose of that evidence.
WONDER DOUCHE POWERS ....
ACTIVATE!!!!
SHAPE OF A UBERSCROAD
FORM OF A BLEETHED OUT HOTTIE!
-Summers Eve.
ACTIVATE!!!!
SHAPE OF A UBERSCROAD
FORM OF A BLEETHED OUT HOTTIE!
-Summers Eve.
# posted by : 11:51 PM
: 11:51 PM
So he falls off track, starts smoking the crack
And once it hits his brain, it starts to chain react
that's some synergy all right. now all we have to do is wait for him to end up in a bloody pool or something. um... yeah.
And once it hits his brain, it starts to chain react
that's some synergy all right. now all we have to do is wait for him to end up in a bloody pool or something. um... yeah.
Reading these comments, one understands who are the REAL douchebags. You folks all need to get a life.
# posted by : 4:55 AM
: 4:55 AM
Anon 4:55 -
We are ASSHOLES, not Douchebags. You of all people should know the difference. Now stop lurking around here and get back to the "www.witlessfuckstickswithnohumor.com" website you came from, you Missouri Sphincter Pinch.
We are ASSHOLES, not Douchebags. You of all people should know the difference. Now stop lurking around here and get back to the "www.witlessfuckstickswithnohumor.com" website you came from, you Missouri Sphincter Pinch.
OH yes. they both go/went to my school. the one on the left. IS in fact a BIG bag of Douche. and the one on the right is in fact a hottie. a little young. but still.
# posted by : 8:51 PM
: 8:51 PM
bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of bitches is bitches bitches i think they full of
# posted by : 4:07 PM
: 4:07 PM
i am the boyfriend of the hottie..she is actually striking this douchey le douche pose because she is making fun of the actually ball gargler on the right. he has been reported to have been seen making out with guys and waiting at glory holes for dicks to come through. admitting pose is douchey and ever since i have seen this on my favorite website i am honored/disgusted but regardless i have never let her forget about this wonderful synergy
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# posted by : 8:00 AM
: 8:00 AM << Home
