My hair looks like that sometimes. I call it "bed head". Instead of sculpting it in gel, I take a shower and use shampoo. Does that make me a subconscious douchebag?

What is up with this retarded hairstyle? Do chicks really like it? They must, if douchebags keep sportin' that 'do. Dude looks like he just woke up after sleeping on the short bus...
 

Stanley, you are a complete 'bag with incredibly poor taste in beer.

It's unfortunate that your right to dress that way and pull in the hotties is exactly one of the things that we've fought for for over 225 years. Damn, this gives Memorial Day weekend barbecue a bitter taste.

Here's to you and your precious taken for granted freedoms, Stan. Keep on douchin'.

Spun-gold haired hottie is the girl from last Thursday night's dream who was feeding me hot fudge sundaes with her fingers and pouring Krug Brut Rose into her navel and letting me lap it up with big slurpy sounds. I love that girl.
 

Jim would've vomited on Whiskey-A-Go-Choad's Vans and then split with the Hottie.

Still a good plan.
 

That is one serious hottie. I wonder if it hurts to get headbutted like that. Pics like these are the ones that make me consider switching to the Douche side of The Force.
 

"Brazilian Tranny Service"? Not sure I would advertise that.
 

Among the other stylistic errors he's presenting, the douchey-faux-vintage-advert t-shirt with cheap blazer is horrible. Sir, please stop taking your fashion cues from teenage boys.
 

Greetings from Middle-earth.

Not only is his homohawk douche to the max, the fact that he frosted it makes him look like a scrote dipped in powdered sugar.

Oooo, and hottie is one of those heavenly sirens of lore. I would give an orc a handjob for 26 seconds with a lock of her hair.
 

i ask myself the same question: HOW?
 

he looks like the type of guy who'd enter a radio phone-in competition to win Third Eye Blind tickets.
 

i just heard on the radio today that Anthony Keadis from the Red Hot Chili Peppers is expecting a baby after he knocked up his... 21 year old wife.

since then i can never be sure of the age gaps between HCwD pairs. some shocking truth is behind this pic, i'm sure.
 

zingama, that's hilarious
 

Is there a trend this guy wouldnt follow? It does make chicks less attractive when they like men like this. However even the "less" attractive version would have me whistling dixie.

Still I am happy to have my first submission.

SkanderDouche.
 

He might as well get some diamond earrings and just end his life.
 

It's me again... 'Petty Bag from January '07. Looks like you found one of my best friends... With the 2006 Playboy Playmate of the Year, Kara Monico. That's right, kids. Google her.

God, that's gotta chap your ass, huh? We're the douchebags and yet we just keep lining up the smokin' hot ass and snorting it off the mirror that we use to do our bad hair with.

Leave me a comment! Love ya like a sis!

<3 Petty Bag.
 

so fain

HAHAHAHAHA.

"we keep lining up the smokin' hot ass and snorting it off the mirror..."

Let me fix that for you:

"We keep going to events where these girls are paid or otherwise required to attend, then waiting in line with dozens of other losers to pose for pictures with them."

But wait, you probably banged her right? I bet she saw your clever t-shirt and said "Wow, This guy is hilarious! Here, have some vagina!" Thanks for the laugh this morning.
 

Personally I love the lack of humour in these response posts. Look at your fucking hair man! Seriously. Not only that but you are drinking a corona.

SkanderDouche.
 

Wow, very pretty.... adn the girl's hot, too!!

Hey-ooooooooo
 

Did you "snort" Screech from "Saved By The Bell" "off the mirror" when you had your picture taken with him at the mall your eighth-grade year?

I'd bet your scrapbook is Da' Bomb. Diggity.
 

Lighten up, So Fain. To be presented to the world in your natural state is an honor, and you should be proud of your appearance on this site. You are what you have aspired to become: A total douchebag. Stand tall, my friend, and be not bitter.

And bravo, Douche Baggins. "He looks like a scrote dipped in powdered sugar." Jesus Christ, that's fucking funny!
 

Actually, I'm proud of my appearance here... And so are my friends. We all think this site is fucking hilarious! How do you think we keep catching ourselves on here? I'm just pissed that I didn't think of the idea first.
 

Sense of humor=25 % douche reduction. Lady needs no statistical enhancements.
 

You jerkoffs that think So Fain, "Stan" and the rest of the Atlanta guys are "going to events where these girls are paid or otherwise required to attend, then waiting in line with dozens of other losers to pose for pictures with them" are a riot. Far be it from me to piss on your jealous little pseudo-realities, but you really ought to check who the biggest promoters in Atlanta are, and you'll probably want to go back and check last July's Maxim magazine - I was on one of the teams with these guys that was written up for the Great Maxim Road Trip.
 

That So Fain and "Stan" are club promoters in Atlanta is not surprising, and it's waaaaaay too much information. I prefer, in my "pseudo-reality" (whatever that means) to believe these people don't actually exist.

The Great Maxim Road Trip. Good God, that must have been a veritable Caravan-o-Scrote.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

The reading of Maxim magazine is an a priori douche move in itself. Furthermore, the illiterate sentence "the rest of the Atlanta guys are '...' are a riot" seems to be appropriate to the mental capacity of the poster at 1:39.
Hopefully the guy driving the Maxim Road Trip bus wasn't as illiterate as I'm sure he heeded the road sign in Atlantic City that read "Douchebags Exit Here."
 

Hahaha! i find this absolutly hilariouse, Max? Max is f****** hot!! And hes sharing a picture with Kara Monico, Playboy Playmate of 2006... I understand why someone would be jelouse, and use the word 'Douchbag' to descibe someone they were secretly in admiration of. Buuuuut, what are you going to do, other than stare at the picture, drool all over your keyboard in lust with the image before you, and in a jelouse rage, rant about what a dumbass the dude looks like, then go to the bathroom, and try to do your hair like his... And yes, Ladies DO love when a guy does his hair like this, and when A guy dresses like this... I mean, after all, its HIM in the picture with The Playmate of the year, 2006...... and not you, right??? Thank you. Peace

Traci
 

If I were going to drool all over my keyboard I would do it to a picture of her alone. With him in the shot, I'm more likely to vomit.
Do girls like it when guys dress like the manequin at an Indianapolis Express for Men?
 

Stan is to "Scrote"

as

Traci is to "Illiterate Retard."
 

That's Traci with an "i," right? Does she draw a little heart over the last letter instead of a dot?
 

Really, Traci? What the hell is "jelouse"?

I have it! Stan. Yes, Stan is a "Gel-louse."
 

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

My dear Traci. No I don't drool over the chicks and no I am not JELOUSE of your douchebag friend Max or the popsies he gets his photos taken with. I am here to laugh at the idiots apparently you and your friends hang out with.

Max....Poor Max has no upper lip. It looks like he ripped it off, put it in a blender, pulverized it and then smeared it in his douchey 'do. Nice touch by the way.

It would behoove you to learn to spell before you post a comment here because it weakens your defense with your stupidity and reinforces why you hang out with scrotae such as this guy. I really do look forward to seeing you in a photo soon. Make sure you write in and request its removal because emails from chicks like you are HILARIOUSE!
 

Traci,

I bet all your male friends (read: douchebags who want to bang you) laugh at your jokes and tell you you're really smart and funny.

"Hah, hah! Traci, you're hilariouse! You've got the best sense of humoure! Here, try this yummy candy. They're called 'roofies.'"
 

First off, how much do these 'bags sound like the frat bag on Revenge of the Nerds meets, "Put him in a body bag Johnny" from karate kid.

Second, Bonnadouchey, you sir are fucking hilarious, i couldn't have put it better myself. But allow me to try.

In my jealous little pseudo-reality, Maxim is the douche bible in periodical form read mostly by 16yr old boys; and club promoters are mostly choads who take pics with famous people solely to add to their collection of visual name droppings typically flaunted in archive form on their respective myspace pages.

In my jealous pseudo-reality, i do not brag about my one friend that one time took a picture with a pseudo-celebrity.

In my jealous pseudo-reality, 'bags are not the only people who can name drop, they're just the ones who care about it the most. I could drop names of the big musicians or playmates i know, or of the well-known actress who ate dinner at my house last night, but that would just make me a scrote. So sniff whatever helps you feel better about yourself off the man-makeup mirrors in your expensive coat pockets.

I'll be busy not sporting a rediculous haircut, a witty shirt, or any man-cessories. Although i did use hair gel in highschool.

So please anonymous-commenteer, piss on our jealous little pseudo-reality like your name is R. Kelly.
 

PS. Mistress Julie, fucking HILARIOUSE! as always.

Ever considered spelling your name Mistress Juli?
 

Well said Douchevid, well said.

"Club Promoter" much like "DJ" is a douchey activity. Name droppping is a douchey activity.

Not getting why you are douchey=priceless and hilariouse.

SkanderDouche.
 

The comment Bonnadouchey laid out for us today had me on the floor in my office.

And I would spell my name that way but I can't figure out how to put that heart on top of the "i". Until then, I remain: Mistress Julie.
 

Crap. I missed all the fun. Is it too late for me to let everyone know that Scarlett Johansen and I are ready to take our relationship to the next level? We have more time for each other, now that the Fall Out Boy tour is over. You know, I opened for them. I'm just saying. Don't hate.
 

Sorry I couldn't get back to this post sooner. Now that Keira Knightley is done promoting her new Pirates movie, I just don't have that much free time. All she ever wants is sex sex sex. Don't hate either, I know you're jelouse. She puts on her Pirates corset and screams at me to spank her while saying "'ello Poppet." Then I stumble around for a bit like Captain Sparrow, asking "Where has all the rum gone?" By this time she can stand it no more, and we have wild sex while she screams things in her sexy accent. Please stop hating.

On a more serious note, NOBODY here is "jelouse" that some guy POSED FOR A PICTURE with a playmate. You did not sleep with her. I could probably google her name right now, and get just as far with her as you losers did, without even leaving my desk. You all fail.

I can't even imagine the horror that must be The Great Maxim Road Trip. I thought Maxim was a magazine that offered tips to high school virgins about how to get your girl to watch Gladiator with you. You are all pathetic.
 

I knew So Fain before he became a douche, when he was a wanna-be-dj-and-flat-out-dork. So give the guy a break, he wasn't born a douche like Max.
 

The Hottie is 2006 PMOY Kara Monaco
 

The Hottie is 2006 PMOY Kara Monaco