One, two douches kneel before you
That's what I said now
Douches, douches who adore you
Just go ahead now.

If you want to call me Ginger,
just go ahead now
kiss the ring on pinky finga
just go ahead now
 

Yes, he is.

But I've got a feel bad for him. The wet drunk Asian moppet will be, if she isn't already, all sorts of wonderful trouble.

Yeah, she'll scrog like a minx but by that point, Miami Choad is owned by her. The only way another woman will ever see his wang dang doodle is if she's a surgeon trying to sew it back on.

This guy's life is filled with violent nighttime emotional explosions about how he doesn't love her, or he wants to get back with his ex, or having to explain why it took an extra five minutes to pick up the fucking pizza.

He'll spend hours cleaning up spew and hauling her ass off the floor of the bathroom. He'll put the knives on the top of the kitchen cabinets the moment she starts pouring the Grey Goose. He'll sit in wonder at how her liver can take it. He'll plan and plan on how to rid himself of this inebriated otaku without losing the respect of his friends and the schlong off his body.

Yeah, he is choad. But he is oh so fucked in so many ways.

(not that I have any experience with women of Asian descent...but I did live in Korea, Japan and the Philippines for a few years...ahem...)

(and, yes, it was successfully reattached.)
 

My anti-douche anger is somehow overshadowed by my elation that I saw right through this scrote's weak camoflauge in the earlier litmus test.

Beginner's luck, or if this newbie actually has skills, I don't care. You didn't have me fooled for a minute, 'bag!

Now I shall entertain daydream fantasies of tossing ol' Pocket Full Of Summer's Eve here out of that bar by the facial pubes, only to be followed by getting my pot sticker into that pretty egg foo young thing. Okay, so it's not that clever, but it's better than the tired "love you long time".

-D'Ouchetagnan the Doucheketeer (props to Vinny Scumbaglia for the new addon to my sig)
 

On another note, I'm left wondering about the other guy in the picture. Particularly, his hand gesture.

"Hold up...I'm not with this douchebag", OR "Yo, smell my finger"? You be the judge.

-D'Ouchetagnan the Doucheketeer
 

haha! damn! I will be the first to admit that I was wrong about this one. I guess I still need to work on my Douchedar.
Oh god! I hope this doesn't mean that I could be seen with a douchebag myself! Got to be more careful...


word to the token black friend.
 

I think it's spelled C-H-O-D-E
 

I can't believe people didn't think that guy was a douche. Once again these bitties are not hot. They are actually fugly.

SkanderDouche

After a strong string of birds last week, this week has been rough.
 

Is it my mistake or did this guy dye his beard???

Doesn't look like the same 'bag to me but throwing gesture #102 and smarmy smirk gives him douche status. And by douche status I mean dung.
 

Greetings from Middle-earth.

It was a perfect lesson. We covered the ability to turn on/off 'bagness, and immediately after we're given a real-world lesson on choadosity.

BTW, what's up with David Ortizbag? Is that a trail of scrote sweat or creative lighting?
 

Well, I suppose I stand corrected. The hand & lips speak for themselves. However, I still believe that his 'baggery is on a very low level. No need for rage control on this one.

I'm assuming, of course, that DB1 isn't about to spring another one of him on us...
 

I knew it! Fuckin bag. Oh you can try to run and hide but you will be exposed for what you are.

Kellybelly, for Christs sake, please be on the lookout for these incognito bags. We would hate to see you defiled by the the likes of this worm.
And MJ, I'm surprised such an astute bag slayer would miss such an obvious sign. ( pinky ring = douchebag )
 

aw man. i feel awful for ever questioning his douche status. shame on me.
 

i'm still not totally convinced. Surely this is damning evidence, but here in America you are Alright until proven Douchey (at least it used to be that way in america).

What i'm saying is that this is a flimsy alibi, but it is not a smoking gun.

His expression remains neutral; he's dressed alright; and on the scale of despicable hand gestures i'd say this one rates fairly low.

That facial hair is fucking disgusting though.

i say: Inconclusive until more evidence can be presented. A mistrial.
 

Sorry, Colin Bones, gotta disagree. I was one of the ones who said 'not 'bag' and I think I've received my comeuppance.

He's 'bag. 'Baggy as a white gangsta-wannabe's pants. The doucheface seals it for me. Part of me thought "pinky ring? 'Bag..." but I got thrown by the lack of the other douchebag accoutrements normally seen. But now I think he'd pop a collar faster than the old Jiffy Pop from my childhood. The tinfoil would have hardly budged before this one would have his collar up so high they chafed his earlobes as red as his dyed douche-beard.

Paper, or plastic?
 

And I also believe Token Black Friend Guy is thinking, "wait a second... don't snap that pic!... aw, shit... how do I explain having my pic taken with this 'bag? I know, I'll tell people I was so drunk I puked all over my right shoulder..."
 

Tower: Doucheitude confirmation has been achieved. We now clear your for landing on bagway 17.

Pilot: This is Captain Dolphinbag speaking. We here at Choadway Airlines would like to thank you for flying with us today and hope that you consider flying with us again in the future. We will be arriving shortly at gate 19. Please remember to claim all bling, crappy hats, facial pubes, and smug expressions in customs. Enjoy your stay in Douchelvania.
 

he IS pimp stylin' like mid 70s Richard Roundtree by way of late 90s Michael Rappaport!
you have pinned the the tail on the proverbial douche
 

No hat tilt. None.

You present me with a picture of the perp popping a collar, and i'll be proven wrong.
 

colin bones, do you know dolphinbag or something? are you dolphinbag? you seem to be his only ally here as all evidence points to douche. is there something we should all know?
 

Dumplings aren't served between slabs of douche. They're tenderly cooked until soft and tasty. So back the fuck up you slices of ass cheek and let me enjoy my soup. I can't wait to be hungry again in an hour.
 

well, even though i was among those who bet the farm on douche, it doesn't necessarily mean that my judgment has become any more accurate than before.

hottie in the yellow shirt is killer-cute.