Saturday, May 19, 2007
Corn on the 'Bag
If there's one overriding concept at work in the creation of 'bag, in the exploration of utter douchosity that shines from within, it is that ironic 'bag is still 'bag. Attempts to satirize the douche merely creates a secondary level of douchosity as pungent as any rotting, fetid primary level douchuousness.
My point? I'm hung over.
My second point? Doing the Farmer Ted + Dog Tags thing when it ain't a costume party doesn't mean you're aware of the performative 'bag and are thus satirizing the 'bag. It still makes you 'bag. The 'bag within, externalized through irony, is still 'bag.
As to tablecloth hottie, her body sings like sparrows on a warm summer day. As the wind rustles through the foliage of a perfect sunrise, the wind whispers, "booooooobieeessss."
And I nuzzle in those hills for a fortnight while eating trail mix and pop rocks.
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The melons did right fine this year.
We'll harvest 'em right after we lynch this clod wearing douche tags.
We'll harvest 'em right after we lynch this clod wearing douche tags.
# posted by 
: 9:48 AM
: 9:48 AM
Hottie is all sorts of farm raised goodness. She's grade A for sure. Farmer douchebag there needs to go fuck a sheep.
# posted by : 10:25 AM
: 10:25 AM
If the 10-degree Douche Tilt is asinine on a baseball cap, it's tenfold asinine on a COWBOY HAT. Also, I'm sorry, but no shirt + overalls = appetite for cock. There are no exceptions to this rule. Even Junior Sample wore a t-shirt underneath his overalls.
Still, those funbags are magnificient, even if she's under the impression that a sun hat is a suitable stand-in for western costuming at whatever faux-down these two are attending.
Still, those funbags are magnificient, even if she's under the impression that a sun hat is a suitable stand-in for western costuming at whatever faux-down these two are attending.
# posted by : 11:14 AM
: 11:14 AM 
I can understand you guys getting blinded by those headlights, but it's pretty obvious this isn't an actual couple hanging out at a club. It's a male stripper and a surprisingly hot club groupie posing for a photo. I know this because I used to work with such a girl who liked to go to male strip clubs and see Chippendales shows etc., and she dressed like that, and she followed them back to their hotel after the show and showed me the pictures she took of what she did with all of them, at once.
Andrea Lei, where are you now?
When guys confidently tell you that "Chippendales dancers are all gay", just sympathetically nod and murmur, "You poor, sweet, deluded douchebag."
Andrea Lei, where are you now?
When guys confidently tell you that "Chippendales dancers are all gay", just sympathetically nod and murmur, "You poor, sweet, deluded douchebag."
# posted by : 4:15 PM
: 4:15 PM
Hmmmm, fine discussion. i was a little unsure of the doucheness of this bag, but i consider myself convinced.
Those boobs lighten my brain's heavy, porto-induced fog.
Those boobs lighten my brain's heavy, porto-induced fog.
There have been many recent celebrity impersonator douches, like Elton John, Bret Michaels, Rick James and the like. Hell, we've even seen Sanjaya.
The lowest of the low comes when you feel you have to reach out and impersonate one of the biggest douches to ever walk the planet. All you 'bags out there, listen to me -- if you're going to copy Pauly Shore, go with something like Biodome Pauly and not Son in Law Pauly
The lowest of the low comes when you feel you have to reach out and impersonate one of the biggest douches to ever walk the planet. All you 'bags out there, listen to me -- if you're going to copy Pauly Shore, go with something like Biodome Pauly and not Son in Law Pauly
She's got gigantic earrings, doesn't she?
Nice Streisand schnozz, too.
I'd take Davorah Mae out for ride in the buckboard to dine on kosher vittles and a little Manischewitz.
Now the douchebag: he he he haw haw. I did not know that with the death of Junior Samples, the folks at Hee-Haw decided to add "Village People" knock-off group to the show. Let's see, they have a railroad conductor, a blacksmith, a sheriff, and, this guy, the spittin' image of the guy who took Ned Beatty "hoggy-style" in Deliverance.
The authenticity is only marred by the presence of unearned dogtags. The boys in Nashiville won't 'preciate that.
Nice Streisand schnozz, too.
I'd take Davorah Mae out for ride in the buckboard to dine on kosher vittles and a little Manischewitz.
Now the douchebag: he he he haw haw. I did not know that with the death of Junior Samples, the folks at Hee-Haw decided to add "Village People" knock-off group to the show. Let's see, they have a railroad conductor, a blacksmith, a sheriff, and, this guy, the spittin' image of the guy who took Ned Beatty "hoggy-style" in Deliverance.
The authenticity is only marred by the presence of unearned dogtags. The boys in Nashiville won't 'preciate that.
I agree; overalls with no shirt does exude a preference for sausage and not pie. And I think her boobs are her strongest asset; underneath the brim of that hat is a pointy face & nose. I'd like to see what she looks like w/o the hat. Oh yeah....and without the shirt too. BOOBIES!
If there was ever any question of this guy's douche credentials, his decision to wear dogtags with that outfit should put those to rest. It's like he was concerned people would think he was merely a gay farmer and wanted to make sure everyone knew he is a giant douche at heart as well.
# posted by : 6:29 PM
: 6:29 PM
Funny how even though he's dressed in costume he still keeps his core 'bagginess with the dog tags and cowboy hat tilt.
# posted by : 7:42 PM
: 7:42 PM
Focus, people. The bag tags do not excuse the beige mandana.
I would do the iron cross hanging from her earrings. And stick the landing.
Abercrombie, I am now unhappily aware of "Chippendales groupie" as a ho niche. Ignorance, in retrospect, was bliss.
I would do the iron cross hanging from her earrings. And stick the landing.
Abercrombie, I am now unhappily aware of "Chippendales groupie" as a ho niche. Ignorance, in retrospect, was bliss.
# posted by : 7:51 PM
: 7:51 PM
voodouche chile (slight return) speaks the truth. A beige, if not pale-taupe mandana says, "i bought this at nordstroms, its a john varvatos." And i wouldn't be shocked if that hat came from the same collection... as it feels more Ricky Martin drinking cosmo's at Saddleranch than Clint Eastwood rolling his own somewhere outside Bisbee.
The Good, The 'Bag, and The Ugly... and by ugly i mean H.C. with a bumper crop of melon.
The Good, The 'Bag, and The Ugly... and by ugly i mean H.C. with a bumper crop of melon.
I think everyone's being way too hard on the Well-Dugged Jewess. I think she has a lovely face that radiates intelligence, wit, and a kind heart. Like any of you anonymo-scrotes could score a girl that looks like that in your most highly-lubed dreams.
Now, if she pulls a train on the entire Chippendales troupe and goes to work on Monday to show her blue-ball'd male co-workers/gawkers the photos she took, or rather, the photos one of the guys in line took of her and the Guernican scrum, I take it all back. Damn you Andrea Lei!
Now, if she pulls a train on the entire Chippendales troupe and goes to work on Monday to show her blue-ball'd male co-workers/gawkers the photos she took, or rather, the photos one of the guys in line took of her and the Guernican scrum, I take it all back. Damn you Andrea Lei!
# posted by : 10:06 AM
: 10:06 AM
that's the most beautiful line you've ever written about any woman yet, DB1. "her body sings like sparrows on a warm summer day". hard to top.
now i hope all the bottles back there are dropped on "performative 'bag's" head one by one.
now i hope all the bottles back there are dropped on "performative 'bag's" head one by one.
It's monday, I'm grumpy. She's wearing a dress that hides her saddlebags, and faux Adam Cartwright's ensemble proclaims he's a douchebag, alright.
Note the hat, it is... interesting. Pretty sure it is not a cowboy hat: it's one of her hats, folded up like a cowboy hat. Neckerdana is weird, looks like grandma's pantyhose.
Note the expression: it is borrowed from Fish Slap.
Note the douchetags, borrowed from Fish Slap.
Note the 5:48:13 o'clock shadow, borrowed from Fish Slap.
Note the hat tilt, borrowed from Fish Slap.
This douchebag is Catfish Slap.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
Note the hat, it is... interesting. Pretty sure it is not a cowboy hat: it's one of her hats, folded up like a cowboy hat. Neckerdana is weird, looks like grandma's pantyhose.
Note the expression: it is borrowed from Fish Slap.
Note the douchetags, borrowed from Fish Slap.
Note the 5:48:13 o'clock shadow, borrowed from Fish Slap.
Note the hat tilt, borrowed from Fish Slap.
This douchebag is Catfish Slap.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
# posted by : 6:19 AM
: 6:19 AM
I *could* be wrong here but it looks like Homer and Queeblina are out celebrating his win at the local 4H fair for Best in Show for Overall Hick Doucheness.
(cue that Deliverence banjo music...while Homer waits for Queeblina's little brother to show up for some country style butt packin')
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(cue that Deliverence banjo music...while Homer waits for Queeblina's little brother to show up for some country style butt packin')
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