Thursday, May 24, 2007
'Bag / Not a 'Bag
PIC DELETED
I can't tell whether looking like an early 70s white version of Superfly constitutes 'Bag status or not. Because Superfly was badass. Then again white boy Spin Doctors Superfly isn't.
Yet I can't pinpoint the douchosity.
He's got the vague waftage of douche without specific douchbaguousness outside of the chin pubes and maybe that large 70s retro collar shirt. The hat has douch du essence but lacks baseball cap 10 Degree Tilt status to push this choad over into an actual 'Bag classification.
What to verdict? 'Bag? Or not a 'Bag?
I throw it to you, fellow 'bag slayer, to render judgement. What say you? Judge his ass with the unimpeded abandon of a used up circus clown hittin' the sauce.
Drunk Asian hottie is zaftig in all the right places. I would paint abstract art in her honor just for the chance to drool on her dress shoes while she called the police and had me escorted from the premises. Oh wait, that actually did happen.
I can't tell whether looking like an early 70s white version of Superfly constitutes 'Bag status or not. Because Superfly was badass. Then again white boy Spin Doctors Superfly isn't.
Yet I can't pinpoint the douchosity.
He's got the vague waftage of douche without specific douchbaguousness outside of the chin pubes and maybe that large 70s retro collar shirt. The hat has douch du essence but lacks baseball cap 10 Degree Tilt status to push this choad over into an actual 'Bag classification.
What to verdict? 'Bag? Or not a 'Bag?
I throw it to you, fellow 'bag slayer, to render judgement. What say you? Judge his ass with the unimpeded abandon of a used up circus clown hittin' the sauce.
Drunk Asian hottie is zaftig in all the right places. I would paint abstract art in her honor just for the chance to drool on her dress shoes while she called the police and had me escorted from the premises. Oh wait, that actually did happen.
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'bag facial expression? nope.
'bag hand gesture? nope.
'bag accessories? nope.
'bag showing-off-of-muscular-physique? nope.
'bag clothes? maybe.
Total package? I say no 'bag. He's dressed a little too nice, and with a hot chick. Is he a 'bag? Nope. Is he a tool? Most likely.
'bag hand gesture? nope.
'bag accessories? nope.
'bag showing-off-of-muscular-physique? nope.
'bag clothes? maybe.
Total package? I say no 'bag. He's dressed a little too nice, and with a hot chick. Is he a 'bag? Nope. Is he a tool? Most likely.
Look at that face, look at that smirk, the undeniable look of "I rock" on his face, a face so slightly tilted to the right so as to suggest that you look just a little funny from over here, and obviously not in a ha-ha kind of way.
I don't DB!, this guy REEKS of douchosity to me. In fact it's getting a bit overwhelming, I need to take Asian hottie and go lie down...
I don't DB!, this guy REEKS of douchosity to me. In fact it's getting a bit overwhelming, I need to take Asian hottie and go lie down...
# posted by 
: 1:39 PM
: 1:39 PM
I think this falls right into the thread of douche baggins' question. I think this scrote is trying to hide his douchosity.
If the chin pubes aren't a dead giveaway, what's that peeking up just below his shirt? Is that Jesus Bling I spy?
I say 'bag in camoflauge.
-D'Ouchetagnan
If the chin pubes aren't a dead giveaway, what's that peeking up just below his shirt? Is that Jesus Bling I spy?
I say 'bag in camoflauge.
-D'Ouchetagnan
# posted by : 1:55 PM
: 1:55 PM
I'd say, oui, the Noble Douchesketeer has it right: a bag trying to mask the doucheousity within.
Note the collar, itching to be popped. Note the hat, with just a hint of the tilt it will doubtless take on later in the evening. Note the neckbling, and the nuance of the subtle bagcessorization of the hottie.
With several deft strokes, he could torque-tilt that hat, pop the collar, extrude douchelips and scrotehump the hotchick.
'Bag it is.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
Note the collar, itching to be popped. Note the hat, with just a hint of the tilt it will doubtless take on later in the evening. Note the neckbling, and the nuance of the subtle bagcessorization of the hottie.
With several deft strokes, he could torque-tilt that hat, pop the collar, extrude douchelips and scrotehump the hotchick.
'Bag it is.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
# posted by : 2:05 PM
: 2:05 PM
Not a bag but I'll need a bag in order to handle his dumpling. She looks like she's got more uses for that tequila bottle than just sangritas.
As much as I love to through people under the bag bus, I'm going to have to go not a bag on this one. A toolbag yes, a douchebag, probably not.
# posted by : 2:14 PM
: 2:14 PM
At first glance I would say just a dude with a hot asian, but on closer inspection I see a pinky ring (douche), a little bling(douche), and that stupid english driving hat (douche, douche, douche). I say "Hello Bag."
A hot little asian with a bottle of Cuervo? I'd stir fry her tortilla with the kung fu end of my chimichanga.
A hot little asian with a bottle of Cuervo? I'd stir fry her tortilla with the kung fu end of my chimichanga.
# posted by : 2:24 PM
: 2:24 PM
Anyone who can show up for prom night in this getup and start the night off with some Thunderbird for himself and tequila for his date is A-OK in my book.
Sure he should shave, get a hair cut, lose the goofy gold bling and cap, but blimey! If you want to get lucky at your senior prom, bottoms up. And by bottoms up, well, you all know what I mean.
Not a bag. This dude's a legend in the making. He'll have his own reality show in no time.
Sure he should shave, get a hair cut, lose the goofy gold bling and cap, but blimey! If you want to get lucky at your senior prom, bottoms up. And by bottoms up, well, you all know what I mean.
Not a bag. This dude's a legend in the making. He'll have his own reality show in no time.
no question this guy is a tool. does he qualify for the douchebag moniker?
well, he's got italian horn bling = jerseybagness covered, he's got pubes all over his grill = pure douchery, the pinky ring = what a douche, big collar = total choad, non-tilted kangol hat = nice try but you're still an f'ing douchebag!!! as for the cutie, she can tequila my sunrise anytime.
well, he's got italian horn bling = jerseybagness covered, he's got pubes all over his grill = pure douchery, the pinky ring = what a douche, big collar = total choad, non-tilted kangol hat = nice try but you're still an f'ing douchebag!!! as for the cutie, she can tequila my sunrise anytime.
# posted by : 2:48 PM
: 2:48 PM
His benign expression and lack of hand gestures saves him from 'bag status. He'd better hurry and make his move if she's really drinking that straight, take it from me.
# posted by : 3:10 PM
: 3:10 PM
Lack of style is not a complete indicator of douchosity. He is not a 'bag, just a chronologically-challenged dresser.
Look at his hair. The kangol is for afro control. He's gotta put something on his noggin or there's no way he'll look cool if he has to bust out any of his sweet Saturday Night Fever dance moves. The fact that he went with the hat instead of the gel looks like a non-douche move to me. As far as the rest of his clothing goes, it looks pretty conservative considering what we've seen lately. The beard? Nah. I think the only thing douchey about this dude is the bling.
What ultimately saves him are two things:
The "fuck you" stare into the camera and the forty in the paper bag. Correct me of I'm wrong, but it's my understanding that 'bags don't drink from bags, and no one drinks from a bag in their own home. He's just a dressed up guest who wants his Asiababe to teriyaki his pork.
Not a 'bag, but he gets a written warning.
What ultimately saves him are two things:
The "fuck you" stare into the camera and the forty in the paper bag. Correct me of I'm wrong, but it's my understanding that 'bags don't drink from bags, and no one drinks from a bag in their own home. He's just a dressed up guest who wants his Asiababe to teriyaki his pork.
Not a 'bag, but he gets a written warning.
# posted by : 3:47 PM
: 3:47 PM
Bag or not a bag I don't really care. Anybody who brown bags a forty is OK in my book. I've been known to ride the blue bull from time to time, and by that I mean get shit faced drunk on Schlitz malt liquor.
# posted by : 4:15 PM
: 4:15 PM
I really wanted to say total 'bag out of uninformed jealousy, but i think there may be a few non-douche things going for this particular mope:
1. i say he's real young. given the fine piece of ass and abundance of alcohol, he's on the right path.
2. alright the hat definitely needs to go, and hopefully with some time he'll lose the jewelry, but the outfit could be waaaay worse. where's lobster at?
3. the fuck you expression is pretty good. i totally disagree with some of ya'll on this one - that's not being smug, that's saying "go fuck yourself - i'm trying to get this ho drunk"
Not a 'bag.
1. i say he's real young. given the fine piece of ass and abundance of alcohol, he's on the right path.
2. alright the hat definitely needs to go, and hopefully with some time he'll lose the jewelry, but the outfit could be waaaay worse. where's lobster at?
3. the fuck you expression is pretty good. i totally disagree with some of ya'll on this one - that's not being smug, that's saying "go fuck yourself - i'm trying to get this ho drunk"
Not a 'bag.
# posted by : 4:19 PM
: 4:19 PM
Let us take a look at the evidence before us. Trendy hat. Check. Shirt open to the three button point. Check. Visible faux gold cross. Check. Exposed chest flesh. Check. Collar worn outside of jacket in an effort to look like a '70s pimp. Check. Chin pubes. Check. Narcissistic glare into camera. Check. Ability to dumbfound me with ability to attract hotties. Check.
The verdict is in, the tribunal has voted, this guy is a douche.
The verdict is in, the tribunal has voted, this guy is a douche.
# posted by : 5:40 PM
: 5:40 PM
ONE
that shirt is not unbuttoned very far; who among us has not had to vent some heat in a warm room?
TWO
the hat is annoying, surely, but not overtly douchey, and no tilt.
THREE
drinking a 40 from a paper bag, instant anti-grieco.
FOUR
gross chin hair and expression, i admit. In a relative way, however, both the expression and pubes are minimal.
Not a bag, probably a huge tool.
i repeat NOT A BAG. Some of you are taking 'hating' to a new level.
that shirt is not unbuttoned very far; who among us has not had to vent some heat in a warm room?
TWO
the hat is annoying, surely, but not overtly douchey, and no tilt.
THREE
drinking a 40 from a paper bag, instant anti-grieco.
FOUR
gross chin hair and expression, i admit. In a relative way, however, both the expression and pubes are minimal.
Not a bag, probably a huge tool.
i repeat NOT A BAG. Some of you are taking 'hating' to a new level.
I gotta agree, not a 'bag. Pinkie ring is definitely bag, and his facial expression is borderline bag. Other than that, his outfit is more funky than douchey, and he is holding onto the waist of his date like an actual gentleman would do.
I think he's a Superfly wannabe like DB1 says. Just not a 'bag.
I think he's a Superfly wannabe like DB1 says. Just not a 'bag.
# posted by : 7:29 PM
: 7:29 PM
This is Gary Sinise in an alternate universe where he isn't a well respected character actor, but just a cheap drunk.
no a bag.
no a bag.
# posted by : 7:31 PM
: 7:31 PM
yes, a brown bag bum and that Liu Wong on tequila must be sweet with a wedge of lemon!
# posted by : 7:39 PM
: 7:39 PM
Greetings from Middle-earth.
If I learned anything from my recently replied question, it's that this man undeniably holds a passport to Scroatia. Perhaps he's taking a small break from his civil duties, but some of the tells are there: Jesus Bling, Pinky Bling, Chin Pubes, and the whole "I'm a white Farnsworth Bentley" attire going on. It's a bit like Dick Tracy in the 2007, Dickhead Tracy, if you will.
If I learned anything from my recently replied question, it's that this man undeniably holds a passport to Scroatia. Perhaps he's taking a small break from his civil duties, but some of the tells are there: Jesus Bling, Pinky Bling, Chin Pubes, and the whole "I'm a white Farnsworth Bentley" attire going on. It's a bit like Dick Tracy in the 2007, Dickhead Tracy, if you will.
# posted by : 8:25 PM
: 8:25 PM
No disrespect, Bones and Douchola, but y'all are fucked to Scranton if you actually believe that brown-bagging... indoors... at a party... is an anti-bag move. I mean, for Christ's sake, the HC is drinking tequila FROM THE BOTTLE, and this douchey dork has to draw attention to the fact that he's drinking alcohol by putting it in a brown bag?
# posted by : 11:37 PM
: 11:37 PM
the fact that this douche looks a bit lethargic AND the hottie who comes up a bit short of killer-hotness certainly helped his case.
but.
bag.
just to be safe, that is. i've seen more innocuous pics on HCwD.
but.
bag.
just to be safe, that is. i've seen more innocuous pics on HCwD.
I'll add my 2 cents.
Even with the dopey hat and jesus bling, I think this guy is not-a-bag. I honestly think these two are out at some 70's themed party and the guy is actually trying to look the part. If you think about it, weren't all guys from the 70s dressed up like douchebags? It was a whole decade of jesus bling, grease, and open shirts. He's just playing the part.
As for her, all I've got to say is:
She wore Lemon!
Cheers!
Even with the dopey hat and jesus bling, I think this guy is not-a-bag. I honestly think these two are out at some 70's themed party and the guy is actually trying to look the part. If you think about it, weren't all guys from the 70s dressed up like douchebags? It was a whole decade of jesus bling, grease, and open shirts. He's just playing the part.
As for her, all I've got to say is:
She wore Lemon!
Cheers!
i have the hots for kellybelly. that's prolly wrong on some level, but fuggit.
a "go-fast" hat does not a bag make. i love how we can dissect his personality based on a single picture, though. ok, back to sleep.
a "go-fast" hat does not a bag make. i love how we can dissect his personality based on a single picture, though. ok, back to sleep.
Why thank you mitch meats. I've always said I like a douchebag with taste. oh wait....I've never actually said that before.....
oh well.
oh well.
All very adept (and funny) arguements for and against the doucheitude of His Seriousness, The Duke of Scrote, but is it not true that 'Bag is as 'Bag does?
dogboy
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dogboy
# posted by : 10:45 AM
: 10:45 AM << Home
