Captian Jack Sparrow
You most certainly are not
Go swab some poop decks

Douchebag Mariner
Release that fair albatross
Avoid the foul curse
 

Hey Mr. skunk spot,
What does the "M" bling stand for?
Metrosexual?

Howdy Douchey
 

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salt and pepper waves,
cascading down oily abs
beg for a good swift push.
 

Spiked hair scrote,
don't pretend to wear a shirt.
I'll throw you overboard!
 

Abdominal Doucheman
Swept by lake borne gusts
May they wisk you a-way
 

The Ice Man cometh
"I'll be your wingman anytime!"
Let's buzz the gay clubs

-DuckDuckDouche
 

his abs might be ripped,
but the hose on the boat gets
more action than his.

-pfah
 

Blank stare, forehead grease
A gathering storm of douche.
Can great whites smell Axe?

-Good Will Doucheing
 

Arm around hottie
Lame bling sported, annoys me
Gay smirk slapped right off

-ScroteBob DouchePants
 

Wow it's Markey Douche
With a hot piece of chika
Where is Douchey Bunch?
 

I just have to say that "ScroteBob DouchePants" is probably the best handle on this site.
 

Forthwith this frame of mine was wrenched
With a woeful agony,
Which forced me to stab myself;
O how douches came to be!

*actual haiku below*

since then, at random
hours, that agony returns,
making me haiku.

whenever i see
scrotes with hot, this heart within
me burns - to a crisp.

*actual haiku ends*

O Wedding-Guest! this soul hath been
Alone on a wide wide sea:
So lonely 'twas, that God himself
Scarce seemed there to be.

(editor's note: this had been a particularly difficult haiku-adaption kinda thing, and honestly while i don't think it turned out very well i'm at my wit's end right now - meh)
 

Sure, he's a scrote, but I'm disappointed. I was hoping for another Donkey Douche photo for the Friday haiku. No one can convince me that there are no more pictures of the Donk. He revels in having his photo taken with his Bleeth.

Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
 

oh and just noticed Danny B's mariner reference on the first haiku. good to know another person familiar with the text.
 

lower case bag

It was probably the only thing I was forced to read in high school that was actually interesting.
 

Shirt half-on/half-off
Beautifully poised morsel
Gripped by "Man-maries".

-or-
(Sung to the tune "Perfect Day" by The Velvet Underground")

"Such a perfect day
Drank sangria on the lake..."
Ruined by The Streak
 

Velvet skin of hot
Come away from the scrate bag
Rip picture in half
 

Wind, so powerful,
Rise up, blow this slut's skirt up,
Fly ab boy like kite.

the alpha douche
 

On holy cleavite
I do gaze slack-jawed, amazed
Toss scrote overboard

~ Doucharellious
 

Beutiful sea flower
you make my nads feel tingley
please push him over.
 

Radient doucheness
Has burned off all my buttons
And all my chest hair
 

Enamored with girl
Mutinee against that trite
First mate sodomite
 

Giligan douchebag
Good physique with small minnow
MaryAnn, be mine.
 

Oh, lovely mermaid
There’s a filet knife nearby
Reduce Chad to chum
 

This guy looks like a piece of euro
trash,maybe there is a link to the source of it all.
 

Lady of the lake,
Abs of shimering samite,
The sword in the scrote.
 

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By your name, I command you:
Mephadoucheles,
Fallen archangel of douche,

Loose your ties on this poor girl.
Your noxious bile
Has no place near perfection.