Trees, with apologies to Joyce Kilmer

I think that I shall never see
a douche as oily as this tree.

A tree whose scrotey hand is pressed
Against this sweet thing's new mown crest;

A tree that doesn't work all day,
But still has cash to drink and play;

A tree that throughout summer wears
A gallon of "product" in his hair;

Upon whose loins this bleeth has lain,
Which intensely causes our cries of pain.

Poems are made by asses like me,
But only some seriously let's-fuck-with-the-masses God can make this tree.
 

alright that girl is just smoking. experiencing my first real doucheanger.
 

HA! This scrote really does look like a tree. I think I'd have to chop him down with a dull axe. It would take awhile but the pain to him would be worth it. Then I'd use him as firewood to keep me and the hottie warm as we snuggled on a bearskin rug.
 

Count, you need to be careful and open a window. The oleaginous nature of this species' xylem could lead to you and hottie dying from smoke inhalation. Forewarned is forearmed. If you can stand the douchey stench, stack him and allow the pieces to dry for a few months. Hottie can probably generate plenty of heat in the meantime.
 

Good point Baron. Besides firewood is probably too good of a fate for this douche anyway, and there's plenty of things me and hottie could do together to generate heat.
 

I think that bag played the part of one of the talking tress in the Wizard of Oz...
See for yourself!
 

Wait a minute that's no tree....it's David Copperbag!
Poof!!
 

ok the level of hottness on this site has seriously jumped in the last 2 pics.

Judging by that vacant look in treebag's eyes, i'll venture a guess that star hottie here likes her men tall, and mentally inferior to her accessories. I think she went to scratch him behind the ear (like the good mongoloid puppy he is) and accidentally got mired in the grease ball he calls hair. she may lose a finger to that debacle...

you know, the more i look at him, the more he looks like a big greasy corpse. It looks she's a serial killer, who hunts the bars of new jersey looking for douches to kill, then clicks a shot of herself with their corpse.

oddly enough that just makes her hotter.
 

i think we've found a new archnemesis-type of douche to hurl insults at.

and a new arch-hottie type to fawn over.