Nothing like five gorgeous balls of shiny wax to wake you up on a Thursday all circling a douche vortex. 170 Degree Hat Tilt here knows exactly what the ladies love -- a little hot coral action.

I'm not exactly sure what ginormous piece of jewelry is trailing off the vaguely chipmonk looking hottie in the middle, but one thing I do know. It's not coral.

And coral is where it's at.

A coral choke collar. It's like Jet-Li's "Unleashed." Snap on the coral necklace and he's your douche slave. Should we call it "UnDouched"? Too obvious?