Tuesday, October 17, 2006
HCwD of the Week: PooBag Edition
I'm not sure what exactly PooBag means but it's my new favorite word. It just summoms up the douche essence of poo that so many of these 'bags feature, while at the same time sounding like a cuddly character from a children's novel. That being said, lets get to the scrote:
HCwD #1: Greased Lightning
Whoever made the comment about the spindley T-Rex arms, I can't get that out of my mind. Maybe this douche'll dive in and save his hottie if she gets attacked by velociraptors. Generally he doesn't look like that much of a 'bag, but then there's the frosted hair. Which equates to at least a level one douche-alert.
And of course, the fact he's cuttling an extremely sexy hottie and I'm sitting here watching my fruit of the looms lose elasticity by the day.
HCwD #2: Low Collars and Dirt
When you're attemping to show the same amount of cleavite as your date, you are officially a giant poo'bag.
Those collars alone merit inclusion in the HCwDotW contest for this ball o' scrote. His hottie does have a bit too much chin, but with legs that award winning I'm willing to bow down to the hotness and beg to lick her third toe.
HCwD #3: Bubble Couch 'Bag
I'm not sure why this smug little jelly stain is still bothering me. Maybe it's how bright eyed happy his sweet cucumber seems to be in his presence. The way she perches on his leg. Eagerly. Excited. Maybe it's how fantastically cute she is. This is a great example where the HC side of the equation outweighs the DB side, although this putz definitely qualifies as scrote.
Or maybe it's just that douchey bubble couch.
Have at it folks. Vote by entering your winning selection in the comments section of this post. You can vote anonymously if you haven't created a profile. And if you're wondering about Rack of Lamb and Gassy McBling (a definite finalist), they'll be in next week's contest.
What say you?
HCwD #1: Greased Lightning
Whoever made the comment about the spindley T-Rex arms, I can't get that out of my mind. Maybe this douche'll dive in and save his hottie if she gets attacked by velociraptors. Generally he doesn't look like that much of a 'bag, but then there's the frosted hair. Which equates to at least a level one douche-alert.
And of course, the fact he's cuttling an extremely sexy hottie and I'm sitting here watching my fruit of the looms lose elasticity by the day.
HCwD #2: Low Collars and Dirt
When you're attemping to show the same amount of cleavite as your date, you are officially a giant poo'bag.
Those collars alone merit inclusion in the HCwDotW contest for this ball o' scrote. His hottie does have a bit too much chin, but with legs that award winning I'm willing to bow down to the hotness and beg to lick her third toe.
HCwD #3: Bubble Couch 'Bag
I'm not sure why this smug little jelly stain is still bothering me. Maybe it's how bright eyed happy his sweet cucumber seems to be in his presence. The way she perches on his leg. Eagerly. Excited. Maybe it's how fantastically cute she is. This is a great example where the HC side of the equation outweighs the DB side, although this putz definitely qualifies as scrote.
Or maybe it's just that douchey bubble couch.
Have at it folks. Vote by entering your winning selection in the comments section of this post. You can vote anonymously if you haven't created a profile. And if you're wondering about Rack of Lamb and Gassy McBling (a definite finalist), they'll be in next week's contest.
What say you?
Comments:
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#3
I love that apron-thing she's barely wearing and this smugbag doesn't deserve it.
I love that apron-thing she's barely wearing and this smugbag doesn't deserve it.
# posted by 
: 9:50 AM
: 9:50 AM
Old? fat? nasty? balding dyed hair? too big of a head for his body? creepy? too big of a head for his body? That'll be #1.
Douchebaggerynessocity at its best? Most definitely #2.
"L' Douchebago Venezolano"
Douchebaggerynessocity at its best? Most definitely #2.
"L' Douchebago Venezolano"
# posted by : 10:19 AM
: 10:19 AM
#3
He just looks like such a dick, and he is probably hitting this little cutie on the regular, which infuriates me.
Danny Bonadouchey
He just looks like such a dick, and he is probably hitting this little cutie on the regular, which infuriates me.
Danny Bonadouchey
# posted by : 10:48 AM
: 10:48 AM
'bag #2 takes the cake. Even without his way out of place Schneider from one day at a time pants, he would get my vote, for he is quite simply your classic douchebag. #3 looks like he just had a few too many bong hits - is that wrong?
# posted by : 11:19 AM
: 11:19 AM
Hard choice, but I'm going with #3 Bubble Couch, simply cuz that chick is just begging to be felt up and he is sitting there to stoned to give a shit. Maybe that makes him a shitbag as opposed to a poobag, but the difference is only academic.
Bagbalm
Bagbalm
# posted by : 12:05 PM
: 12:05 PM
You know, I thought #1 had it in the bag (pun intended) due to that receding hairline and bobble head doll physique.
Then I took a closer look at #3. Despite the absence of any red cup/popped collar/etc, this guy just *screams* douchebag. I've encountered his ilk far too often to be truly mistaken. That infuriating far-off gaze? Merely a pathetic attempt at disguising the lameass within.
I bet he speaks a full octave below natural, which makes it sound like he has a chronic sinus infection of the brain (this is not all that unlikely). He's also tried at least once to tweeze his eyebrows, mmm-hmmm.
But what really clinched it for me is the way that if you read into the babe's expression just so, it can be interpreted as teeth-clenching terror.
Has anyone considered the possibility that she's a stripper?
Then I took a closer look at #3. Despite the absence of any red cup/popped collar/etc, this guy just *screams* douchebag. I've encountered his ilk far too often to be truly mistaken. That infuriating far-off gaze? Merely a pathetic attempt at disguising the lameass within.
I bet he speaks a full octave below natural, which makes it sound like he has a chronic sinus infection of the brain (this is not all that unlikely). He's also tried at least once to tweeze his eyebrows, mmm-hmmm.
But what really clinched it for me is the way that if you read into the babe's expression just so, it can be interpreted as teeth-clenching terror.
Has anyone considered the possibility that she's a stripper?
# posted by : 2:26 PM
: 2:26 PM
#3 without a doubt. The chick is hot (big fan os the side cleavage) and he is so greasy.
# posted by : 2:44 PM
: 2:44 PM
This was a tough one. I had a tough time deciding between 2 and 3 but I've decided to go with #2 Low Collars and Dirt. Bubble Couch bag is probably the bigger douche in real life judging by the smug look on his face. That, "I'm so cool. I'm better than you. And by the way I'm doing this chick later tonigt," look. I didn't vote for him though because he didn't dress the part. That's why #2. He's so outwardly and over the top douche in this picture. The cleavite shirt makes me laugh every time I see it. Why would any guy wear that stupid thing is beyond me? There's also the bling watch, whose glint keeps blinding me. There's also the fact that this asshole paid a shit ton of money for work pants. I could buy a pair of jeans for 10 bucks at Wally World, wear them to work a few times, and there you have it, same looking jeans as this guy. His hottie ain't to shabby either though somebody does need to take a grinder to that Leno chin of hers.
# posted by : 2:47 PM
: 2:47 PM
Going to go with the majority on this one. #2 is a turd beyond words. And #3 is more potbag than poobag. It's science.
Art of the Douche
Art of the Douche
# posted by : 3:12 PM
: 3:12 PM 
#2 Low Collars And Dirt
Hands down. Look at his stupidly oversized watch. And This sack of shit probably thinks he's God's gift to women and he's doing everyone a favor with the unbuttoned shirt. Asshole.
Hands down. Look at his stupidly oversized watch. And This sack of shit probably thinks he's God's gift to women and he's doing everyone a favor with the unbuttoned shirt. Asshole.
# posted by : 8:53 PM
: 8:53 PM
It surely has to be the #1 t-rex.
For mine, bag #2 appears to be gay and so it not really with the HC. And as for the chin, it really isn't a problem, just somewhere to rest your balls.
#3 is clearly a douchbag but not nearly as sickening as bag #1 with the muscle shirt, bag grip and hideous head. Looks like a cross-breed of jabba the hut and a t-rex.
For mine, bag #2 appears to be gay and so it not really with the HC. And as for the chin, it really isn't a problem, just somewhere to rest your balls.
#3 is clearly a douchbag but not nearly as sickening as bag #1 with the muscle shirt, bag grip and hideous head. Looks like a cross-breed of jabba the hut and a t-rex.
# posted by : 10:42 PM
: 10:42 PM
# 2 is my vote....# 1 is just a fat old asian guy who's done well for himself. We all hope when we're that old, we're sitting next to a hottie like that. # 3 is a smug douchebag who doesn't know he is one. # 2 has an open shirt and that automatically clenches it for me.
Btw where has Pinkus gone?
Btw where has Pinkus gone?
BUBBLE COUCH BAG. one look at him and you know he has a bigger and more abusive entitlement complex than the other bags.
and the hottie, although not my first pick among this week's HCwDotW selection (because i think her mascara is too emphatic), ain't too shabby either.
um yeah.
and the hottie, although not my first pick among this week's HCwDotW selection (because i think her mascara is too emphatic), ain't too shabby either.
um yeah.
Had to think about this one for a while. At 1st I was going to go with #2 as his douche credentials are obvious and appauling.
But the more I looked at #3, it came to me how subtley and truely evil he was. He is "under the radar douche" appearing just cool enough to seduce a fine stripperesque hottie back to the bubble couch. Where, once its to late, she might notice the smirk, the greased hair, the lazy eye, the....oh god, oh jesus h tapdancing CHRIST! What is that? What is that bulge in his jeans? By her hands!
HE STUFFS HIS POCKETS!
HA AH HA AH HAH AH AH HA HA!!!!!
THAT"S NOT WHERE ITS SUPPOSED TO BE! HA HA AH A HA!
yep, total douche bag
-Iowa Douche Cannon
But the more I looked at #3, it came to me how subtley and truely evil he was. He is "under the radar douche" appearing just cool enough to seduce a fine stripperesque hottie back to the bubble couch. Where, once its to late, she might notice the smirk, the greased hair, the lazy eye, the....oh god, oh jesus h tapdancing CHRIST! What is that? What is that bulge in his jeans? By her hands!
HE STUFFS HIS POCKETS!
HA AH HA AH HAH AH AH HA HA!!!!!
THAT"S NOT WHERE ITS SUPPOSED TO BE! HA HA AH A HA!
yep, total douche bag
-Iowa Douche Cannon
# posted by : 9:14 AM
: 9:14 AM
Hmm...I didn't vote yesterday because I thought the voting was over, but since it's not over yet I'll throw my two cents in.
#1 makes me the angriest. I'm not that fond of his chick, but what is a creature like this doing anywhere near a chick that's even remotely hot? Super creepy.
#2 is trying so hard that I have a hard time believing he isn't gay. I mean just look at that watch! And the chick, while fairly hot, isn't doing much for me. It's just not a great pose.
#3 is definitely the best combo and my pick for prince of poobaggery. This is your average douche, looking like a smug jackass, with a chick that he doesn't even come close to deserving. She looks so cute and happy and innocent, but then look what she's wearing--baZOING! Not as scary as #1, but this combo hurts bad.
So there ya go. #3 all the way.
#1 makes me the angriest. I'm not that fond of his chick, but what is a creature like this doing anywhere near a chick that's even remotely hot? Super creepy.
#2 is trying so hard that I have a hard time believing he isn't gay. I mean just look at that watch! And the chick, while fairly hot, isn't doing much for me. It's just not a great pose.
#3 is definitely the best combo and my pick for prince of poobaggery. This is your average douche, looking like a smug jackass, with a chick that he doesn't even come close to deserving. She looks so cute and happy and innocent, but then look what she's wearing--baZOING! Not as scary as #1, but this combo hurts bad.
So there ya go. #3 all the way.
This one was really tough. I wanted to give it to #3, mostly because of the lovely Grade A hottie. But then I realized that #2 blows him away in the douche-ccessories department. The gay man-blouse alone is enough to tip the scales his way.
My vote: #2
My vote: #2
# posted by : 8:28 PM
: 8:28 PM
I'm real close to changing my vote from #1 to #2 cause that chick is the bees knees and #1 chick isn't all that hot BUT #2 chick is smoking and I haven't smoked in 6 months so that's not cool.
To heck with it the gut still says #1 disproportionate head it is.
To heck with it the gut still says #1 disproportionate head it is.
I vote for this pilgrim. I can't get past his outfit. That collar and those cuffs!
Is this what an aspiring male dancer tries to wear on his off time?
His froggy face just sends me right to douche hell.
Also he's grabbing himself way too optimistically. Or maybe he has hand-eye coordination problems. He gets my vote as douchedancer.
Is this what an aspiring male dancer tries to wear on his off time?
His froggy face just sends me right to douche hell.
Also he's grabbing himself way too optimistically. Or maybe he has hand-eye coordination problems. He gets my vote as douchedancer.
# posted by : 4:37 PM
: 4:37 PM
I know I'm late, but I'm just saying that it's a tough call between 1 and 2. No. 2 is doing more, but No. 1 has frosted tips, and looks like that dancing Indonesian midget blowing up YouTube right now.
No. 1 actually did a chick thing, but No. 2 is using a super-douche team-up of tactics.
I'm right on the fence. Frosted tips carry too much weight in my book.
No. 1 actually did a chick thing, but No. 2 is using a super-douche team-up of tactics.
I'm right on the fence. Frosted tips carry too much weight in my book.
Hey, its Carson Daily Douche. The girl is so hot, she made me have an accident. I have to go now.
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# posted by : 1:15 PM
: 1:15 PM << Home
