This hairy Sasquatch better have six gold records to get away with that level of fur. I can't tell if he's a county singer, a sushi chef or the lost member of ZZ Top. I don't know that's he particularly douchey, but man alive, anyone with that dense a thicket of facial hair deserves some form of props. It's like that isn't even hair. It's some form of fast drying acrylic. A plastic polymer chemical substance they use to glue tiles on the space shuttle.

The chickas are Milf-y cute in that "best friend in high school's mom" sort of way. And they seem to love their lifesize plastic Kenny Rogers doll. So who am I to criticize their love of Fur Man? Oh yeah. I'm the douchebag who hasn't shaved in three days and just ate sixteen mallomars in a row. So take that, Fuzzy.