I apologize for subjecting you to this so early in the morning. Please don't be mad at me. But I can't tell if the Backstreet Boys let themselves go or if Scrote's Anonymous got out early. I thought of a number of names for these two wankers but then I got hungry and made myself breakfast.

But it's vital that we sear our eyeballs every day with the pain of our societal scrote. To study the douchebag in its natural habit so we can learn from our communal tragedy and perhaps change course. Maybe we can hunt down those 'bags still in the wild like Double-Fisty here, and his partner, Look At My Shaved Chest and Dimples. And at least rescue their hotties.

There's one thing for certain in this crazy mixed up world. That gorgeous slice of turkey in the middle could freeze vodka. I love her. I'd marry her and let her divorce me and take half my money. She's my soul mate. For at least the next fifteen seconds I will dream of spending the rest of my life with her. Then I will move on to the next pic.