Okay, who let Schneider from "One Day at a Time" into the Playboy mansion? And tell me these two luscious papayas aren't related?

Look at that smug smirk this greasy middle aged douchebag is giving me. He's saying, "Yeah, that's right. I'm here cuddling with two Playboy hotties and you're at home sitting on your rug sipping Irish Rose out of a plastic cup and wishing you were in the presence of these four Downey fresh pillows."

And my response to this lifeless nose-tissue?

"Smirk it up, grinny, because there's no chance in hell either of these two gave you so much as the time of day after this pic was taken." At least that's what I'm gonna tell myself. While I go bang my head against the wall.