Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Douchebag of the Week
Last night I went to a BBQ in the city and met a couple'a cuties from Texas. While guzzling beer (no Night Train, wtf?), I asked them what the appeal of the douchebag was. While both denied any personal attraction to douchebags, they did admit that the pull of the skeezy, greasy ball of douche was still very much in play with their hottie friends. They said all sorts of 'baggy hand gestures were considered "cute" and "confident" when done by an utter skeeze. So it is to them that I dedicate today's edition of HCwD.
What with my weekend of carousing I almost forgot it's time to vote for the "Douchebag of the Week." It's tough to cull out only a few nominees from last week's cesspool of douchey dumbasses and the hotties who love them, but here goes. Please vote in the comments section, and if you don't see your favorite from last week you can always write in your vote.
Douchbag #1:
Grinny McBag here still pisses me off a week later. But it's probably because he gets to touch Flight Attendant Hottie there while I'm currently touching my scrote. Point, Grinny.
Douchebag #2:
Lime green Abercrombe Douchebag still makes my skin itch, and not just because he's got a picture of a naked dude at the top of his Christmas tree. It's because that skuzznut gets two beautiful little Santa's helpers to cuddle with. All while wearing a matching color coordinated outfit. Somebody please fire extinguish this douche. Oh and blondie? I love you. I mean I know we just met, but I love you.
Douchebag #3:
Normally killer mutant aliens are exempt from douchebag status. In this case we'll make an exception.
Douchebag #4:
I had to include this total scuzz in the nominees, if only because his friends showed up and tried to "defend" his douchey ass. People, I'm sure he's a "great guy yadda yadda" but on here he's a total douchebag. Look at that pic. Douchebag.
And "B," I love you. I know we just met. But I love you.
Tough to leave off "Pink Izod Boy" and "Muppethead." Last week was a good week.
What with my weekend of carousing I almost forgot it's time to vote for the "Douchebag of the Week." It's tough to cull out only a few nominees from last week's cesspool of douchey dumbasses and the hotties who love them, but here goes. Please vote in the comments section, and if you don't see your favorite from last week you can always write in your vote.
Douchbag #1:
Grinny McBag here still pisses me off a week later. But it's probably because he gets to touch Flight Attendant Hottie there while I'm currently touching my scrote. Point, Grinny.
Douchebag #2:
Lime green Abercrombe Douchebag still makes my skin itch, and not just because he's got a picture of a naked dude at the top of his Christmas tree. It's because that skuzznut gets two beautiful little Santa's helpers to cuddle with. All while wearing a matching color coordinated outfit. Somebody please fire extinguish this douche. Oh and blondie? I love you. I mean I know we just met, but I love you.
Douchebag #3:
Normally killer mutant aliens are exempt from douchebag status. In this case we'll make an exception.
Douchebag #4:
I had to include this total scuzz in the nominees, if only because his friends showed up and tried to "defend" his douchey ass. People, I'm sure he's a "great guy yadda yadda" but on here he's a total douchebag. Look at that pic. Douchebag.
And "B," I love you. I know we just met. But I love you.
Tough to leave off "Pink Izod Boy" and "Muppethead." Last week was a good week.
Comments:
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I believe Master Bag would not count for Douchebag of the week, better wait for next weeks voting- he's a shoo-in. I wanted to vote for Giraffe man, but his Doucheness is a little too natural. Lime Green Douche gets my vote for his color coordination/Abercrombie logo/Naked picture.
# posted by 
: 9:04 AM
: 9:04 AM
Any douche that pulls over 20 posts deserves the award so Douchebag #4 gets my vote.
If for no other reason just to rub it in the faces of the friends that defended him.
My honorable mention goes to the flight attendant for bringing me UP to "cruising altitude" with her 400cc fuel canisters.
DB OUT!
If for no other reason just to rub it in the faces of the friends that defended him.
My honorable mention goes to the flight attendant for bringing me UP to "cruising altitude" with her 400cc fuel canisters.
DB OUT!
I'm opting for #4, alien 'bag. While all are worthy of Douche of the week status, this 'bag really gots the 'bag mojo working.
# posted by : 10:23 AM
: 10:23 AM
Giraffe/Alien douche gets my vote... for no other reason but I find him utterly disturbing... like something off the x-files...
# posted by : 10:40 AM
: 10:40 AM
gotta go with douche #4. That stupid face he is making earns him the honor of being called douche of the week
# posted by : 10:59 AM
: 10:59 AM
Nominee #4 should definitely become Douche of the Week. Hell, unless something crazy happens, I see him as Douche of the Year. A complete fucking turd, that douchebag is.
# posted by : 12:24 PM
: 12:24 PM
it's gotta be db #2, and here's why. he seems to be the least inebriated of all these fine bags, and thus, in his most natural douchey state. Can you imagine what he'd be like with a few miller lites in him, he'd be showing off his freshly shaved back, giving tours of his Grieco shrine and inventing new bag gestures. We're talking thermonuclear duchuosity -- hotties within ten feet would simply melt into puddles.
I can see picking #4 what with the licking, but that douche might've just gotten lucky once in his life, looks like it judging from his drunken glee.
Mickey O'Douche
(ps, in a total douchey move I posted this comment on another thread. peace out...heh.)
I can see picking #4 what with the licking, but that douche might've just gotten lucky once in his life, looks like it judging from his drunken glee.
Mickey O'Douche
(ps, in a total douchey move I posted this comment on another thread. peace out...heh.)
# posted by : 1:54 PM
: 1:54 PM
Tough week this week. Lots of good candidates to choose from. It was a really tough decision, but I'm going with DB #2 on this one. I agree with Mickey O'Douche on this one. He's the one in the most natural douche state. DB #1 (AKA Grinny McDouche) is at a costume party and appears to be sporting some kind of toga though it does look like a dress. He also looks way to thrilled to be in the presence of such hotness. He realizes and appreciates how lucky he is which takes away from his douchness because he isn't a cocky bastard. I'm not gonna pick on Giraffe Douche because he could be retarded. Normally I don't shy away from poking fun at retards but I gotta give this guy some respect for being retarded and scoring a pic with some hotties. Douche #4 is just drunk as hell. Don't get me wrong he is still a douche (and a major one at that) but not in a natural state. Plus those chicks could be really drunk and not know what they were doing. He does get major douche points for having people defend him on this site, but number three gets my vote. The matching outfit. The Abercrombie shirt which reeks of douchetude, and the nude photo on the tree. Here's what clinched it for me though, if you look closely you can see that the guy is working his hand onto blonde hottie's ass. That is a true douche move right there. Seeing that douche put his hand on that fine hottie's ass makes my balls retract into my stomach and that is why he gets my vote.
# posted by : 2:17 PM
: 2:17 PM
gotta go with DB #4... The douchey face he's making looks like he just got finished smoking a fat joint of scrote... He is a definite shoo-in for DB of the week as we see him here trying to prove he is the "Douche-In-Commander"
# posted by : 3:04 PM
: 3:04 PM
Gotta go with Grinny McBag... It looks like he is wearing the stupid ass unitard costume of Plashenko from the 1980 Douche Olympics!!
# posted by : 3:08 PM
: 3:08 PM
Grinny is the funniest, but #4, with receding hairline and mouth gesture, gets my vote.
# posted by : 5:22 PM
: 5:22 PM
DB4. Have you seen the comments on his page? Same motives as Douchebag Out!
Hottest Chicks: DB1. Gawd those flight attendants are so hot.
Creepiest Looking: If any of you don't know who I'm thinking of, please, don't drive home tonight. You will get lost. Walking from your mailbox.
Hottest Chicks: DB1. Gawd those flight attendants are so hot.
Creepiest Looking: If any of you don't know who I'm thinking of, please, don't drive home tonight. You will get lost. Walking from your mailbox.
# posted by : 5:49 PM
: 5:49 PM
If "Master Bag" is eligible I'm writing him in, otherwise I'll wait until next week to vote for him!
# posted by : 9:24 PM
: 9:24 PM
grinny mcbag has to be the biggest douche! he is dressed for battle in a little flick called clash of the douchebag titans. as for #4 at least he has friends that should keep him out of the running. the true douche does his best work solo. the powers of grinnys superior douchetude would turn medussa into stone.
# posted by : 9:29 PM
: 9:29 PM
grinny mcbag has to be the biggest douche! he is dressed for battle in a little flick called clash of the douchebag titans. as for #4 at least he has friends that should keep him out of the running. the true douche does his best work solo. the powers of grinnys superior douchetude would turn medussa into stone.
# posted by : 9:29 PM
: 9:29 PM
grinny mcbag has to be the biggest douche! he is dressed for battle in a little flick called clash of the douchebag titans. as for #4 at least he has friends that should keep him out of the running. the true douche does his best work solo. the powers of grinnys superior douchetude would turn medussa into stone.
# posted by : 9:30 PM
: 9:30 PM
lower case bag here. been a bit busy with things.
it's worth noting that Grinny McBag looks older than the other bags, but he still gets hotties? that's gotta be douchey. but the hottest hotties are with Abercrombie bag. now let's be fair. we don't know if the bag in pic #4 sent his friends on purpose. if he did i'd vote for him no question. but until then, you know... well okay his tongue thing is pretty idiotic.
i'm afraid i'm gonna have to vote for Grinny McBag just for the age thing. tentatively though.
it's worth noting that Grinny McBag looks older than the other bags, but he still gets hotties? that's gotta be douchey. but the hottest hotties are with Abercrombie bag. now let's be fair. we don't know if the bag in pic #4 sent his friends on purpose. if he did i'd vote for him no question. but until then, you know... well okay his tongue thing is pretty idiotic.
i'm afraid i'm gonna have to vote for Grinny McBag just for the age thing. tentatively though.
# posted by : 10:23 PM
: 10:23 PM
Hah! If howdy douchey would be competing, he would own the competition. However, since this was obvious to anyone DB1 decided not to let him compete? I don't know.
Anyway, i'm going with Grinny MacBag. That over contempt grin, those squeezed sparkling eyes, that talent for cross dressing.
Grinny, indeed, did piss me off for a good 4 days. Alien Douche had no pro's. Master Bag made me laugh for a good 2 days, but then i suddenly realised that his cheeks where smoother then tom Cruise on ice. Lime Douche annoyed the hell out of me. I have never seen such a conducted way to deal with his douche-ness. He would have one, if only he weren't a halfbreed EMO. EMO people should be shot by russian elite troops.
Anyway, i'm going with Grinny MacBag. That over contempt grin, those squeezed sparkling eyes, that talent for cross dressing.
Grinny, indeed, did piss me off for a good 4 days. Alien Douche had no pro's. Master Bag made me laugh for a good 2 days, but then i suddenly realised that his cheeks where smoother then tom Cruise on ice. Lime Douche annoyed the hell out of me. I have never seen such a conducted way to deal with his douche-ness. He would have one, if only he weren't a halfbreed EMO. EMO people should be shot by russian elite troops.
# posted by : 12:45 AM
: 12:45 AM
My vote goes to Abercrombie and his two little Bitches-- the perfect accessories for the most discriminating of fashion conscious douche-b's.
# posted by : 1:01 AM
: 1:01 AM
I can't help but keep laughing at Douchebag #4's futile attempts to defend his idiocy. (From here on called: crybaby bag)
Seriously, the guy is a waterfall consisting out of douche.
I bet the hottie left of him is holding that cup there to catch the sheer drops of douche that are leaking out of his, err, gaping hole.
Checklist o'douche.
Sticky, fat hair in clone haircut no: 1344532. Check.
Complete lack of taste or backbone. Check.
Innept enough to send his "friends"
to comment on an internet statement that simply conducts to reality.
Triple-fucking-check.
Retarted friends: Check.
Drives a crappy car: Check
Gay-trance look: Check.
Shaved eyebrows: Double check.
Tool'o-rater
S'cool
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Tool
<----- Crybaby bag; completely off the charts.
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Seriously, the guy is a waterfall consisting out of douche.
I bet the hottie left of him is holding that cup there to catch the sheer drops of douche that are leaking out of his, err, gaping hole.
Checklist o'douche.
Sticky, fat hair in clone haircut no: 1344532. Check.
Complete lack of taste or backbone. Check.
Innept enough to send his "friends"
to comment on an internet statement that simply conducts to reality.
Triple-fucking-check.
Retarted friends: Check.
Drives a crappy car: Check
Gay-trance look: Check.
Shaved eyebrows: Double check.
Tool'o-rater
S'cool
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1
Tool
<----- Crybaby bag; completely off the charts.
# posted by : 7:58 AM
: 7:58 AM << Home
