Wednesday, November 15, 2006

 

HCwD of the Week: Socrates Douche


In a stunning shocker upset and thanks to a late surge of spewing in his direction, Socrates Douche suprised White Chocolate for a solid win and entry into next month's HCwD of the Month. It's gonna be fun seeing this oily scrote go up against Pat. As born to be bag puts it:

The name Socrates used to make me think of higher learning and togas and all things good in the universe....... Now it makes me think of a sweaty ballsack. I have a strong feeling that Justin Timberdouche here just got done wooing these hotties with his moves on the dance floor. Nothing worse than oily Jesus bling flying around while a scrote does the running man.
The win goes to #3.


Another vote for #3 comes from Art of the Douche:

The tinted shades, the gelled/spiked hair, the black wifebeater, the bling, the oil (dear lord, the oil) and the poorly executed orange tan -- pure scrote brilliance. He doesn't at all seem to care that he has cultivated a look that makes him resemble a butchier Rosie O'Donnell after gastric bypass surgery.

Ouch. Going for the Rosie O'Donnell smackdown. And as lower case bag sums it up:


BUT - WOW - Socrates douche has enough grease to reflect light - EVEN ON HIS CHEEKS.

that says it all.


Indeed it does, lcb. Indeed it does.

However White Chocolate's unholy douchitude will live on in many hearts for his overwhelming douchosity. As the ever-present anonymous put it:

its #1 without a douching doubt. metal-mouth gives me nightmares on so many levels it should be illegal. that slime face. the trophy on his teeth. the 17 pound bling in the ear. the matching 10 degree douche-inspiring matching blue hat. the Yankees suck by the way.

and the topper. those perky two actually touching his white collared, bleeth-opening chest. i actually cant keep talking.. i think im giving myself diarrhea im so upset.


While many disqualified Test Pattern 'Bag for the obvious paid state of his hottie, not everyone ruled that as a disqualifier for HCwDotW status. Seemingly distracted by the intoxicating derriere in #2, dooouche_head explains why:

My vote this week if for #2, "Test Pattern Putz". The smug look on his face and the fact that he's all over the sweet ass on that cute little chicka makes me want to roll over and die, after I kick his ass from here to Timbuktu!

Me too, brotha. Me too.

So lets applaud the Socratic debate that elevates S.D. into next month's face-off. Great comments as always. I think we've all earned a chocodile for our work. I know I have. Mmm... chocodiles. Like twinkies, only with chocolate on them...
Comments:
This guy makes me laugh and cry at the same time. What a royal douchebag !
 
ahahah what a grease ball, he belongs next to the kids from growing up gotti.
 
He looks like a broke fake ass scott storch...
 
Looks like Scott Storch
 
don't know if it's been pointed out, but socrates is an anagram for "as scrote." this probably means something.
 
Look at the chic in the middle wearing the halter top...lol
 
No, seriously, I thought that was K.D. Lang's sister in the middle...
 
It looks like someone told this human canon fodder when he was in the army that it was a good fashion tip and looked good to smear vaseline all over your face before you go out.
 
douche...girls are fuckin retarded
 
a truly magnificient sighting, few nightclubs stock such fine douches.
 
Johnny Depp greases it up again in "Swap-Meet Louis 2: Born-Again Douchebag"
 
Using his patented "him-lock", Socrates Douche tickles the victim ever so slightly, masking her horror.
 
his name is gerrod and his phone number is 773-407-3031, call him and let him know he's a douche
 
Judging by the wall behind this specimen, his douchery is thriving at Catacombs. Catacombs is a well known douche spot. The ceiling is only 5'10" high, dark, and if you are a douche or a baby Napoleon, it is a safe haven from ridicule. However, when El Douche gets back to his bike messenger job, he becomes street vomit.
 
Price of Masingale stock plumits on news that there is a glut of douchebags on the market.

Conversely, Strident sees a sharp increase as demand for oil-removal products hits an all time high.

Chick on left just hit the X.

Chick on right realizes a long night of greasy tongue lies before her.

This picture is just too fucking disturbing.
 
Fuckin' Jaegerbombs!

Skanks

Jaegerbombs!

Skanks fuckin SKANKS

Jaegerbombs!

Jaegerbombs
 
Why hate on him, he's just looking like a retarded white chocolate douche, because the girls are dumb enough to fall for it. Way to go! If that get's him laid by 9's and 10's more power to him!
 
Yeah I think the girls have to take the cakes for biggest douchbags in this one
 
Seriously.... What a fuckin poofter!!
 
Seriously.... What a fuckin poofter!!
 
haha i work with this guy!!!
 
i really do, he's actually really good at what he does but i cant lie...

he acts just the way he looks!

like a buttery ball of douche!!
 
Don't blame the Douchebags, blame the dumb bitches for being attracted to lames like that. chances are his penis is 2 inches and all she wants is his money. 10 cool points for the dumb broad. congrats.
 
And we have idiots in this world preaching "peak oil theory". Look at this douche. He has enough oil supply for at least the next 200 years.
 
those two are skanks i watched a porno where they were tag teamed by a couple of fat guys.... Socrates good move buddy you may wanna pull the hot dog out of the girl in pinks ass
 
possibly the biggest douche in the history books totally gross...k80
 
OH MY GOD!
really?
is that chick there with her mom er what??
&& that faggot with the shade of pink thinx he can get the mother-daughter combo! blech! he think we like he fact the he died himself pink or is that another lamee way to pick up underaged chix??
 
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